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70 Funny baby quotes

Trending Funny Baby Quotes 🔥

I set up my Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.
Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.
No, baby, I’m not dumping you. I’m just rebranding myself as your ex.
Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?
I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

More funny baby quotes 👇

3 months ago
Share →: Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

Commentary:
👶🔬 Watch out, folks! Forget about technology, babies have mastered the art of being grumpy geniuses! They are the true pioneers of mood swings and tantrums – the trendsetters of irrational crankiness since day one! Keep an eye out for their next groundbreaking discoveries in the world of tiny tempers! 😂#BabyMoodInnovators
4 months ago
Share →: I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

Commentary:
"Talk about a versatile talent! Whether it's strumming a tune or cradling a little one, this person sure knows how to handle things with a firm grip… maybe just a bit too firm for the baby's liking!"
4 months ago
Share →: What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

Commentary:
"Talk about explosive parenting! 💥👶 Just imagine the chaos in the delivery room… Cut the right cord, or boom goes the dynamite! 😂🤯 #BabyBoom"
4 months ago
Share →: Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Commentary:
🥪🏃‍♂️ "Starting the second half of your sandwich is like a rematch with your taste buds! Hell yeah, baby, let's run it back and show that sandwich who's boss! 💪😂"
4 months ago
Share →: They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

Commentary:
"Who knew climbing the career ladder could involve so many unexpected hurdles, like uncomfortable baby diapers? 🧐💼 Don't worry, just keep your head high and your diaper higher! 😆👶 #CareerGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

Commentary:
Oh, the struggle of centaur infants – born with a split personality! 🐴👶 Just imagine the chaos as the bipedal bottom half goes trotting off while the upper half is just trying to figure out this whole "neck control" thing. It's a literal case of "getting your legs under you!" 🤣 #CentaursGotCentaurProblems
5 months ago
Share →: Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

Commentary:
"Uh oh, seems like someone's not in the mood for a babysitter of the year award 🏆👶 Maybe it's time to bring out the big guns – the peekaboo strategy never fails! 😄"
5 months ago
Share →: I hope the babies I was born with at the hospital are doing good.

Commentary:
"Last time I saw them, they were napping like pros and dominating the nursery crib scene. 🍼💤 Hope they're still rocking those tiny booties and spreading joy wherever they go! 👶😂 #HospitalSquadGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

Commentary:
Seems like the Three Wise Men were a bit confused on the concept of practical baby gifts 🤔🎁 I mean, gold, frankincense, and myrrh are nice and all, but can you imagine a baby trying to play with that? 😂 Maybe next time they should team up with Santa for some more baby-friendly goodies! 🎅👶 #BabyGiftBlunder
5 months ago
Share →: I wonder if babies know that we are more terrified of them than they are of us.

Commentary:
"Maybe babies secretly have a 'terrifying human' leaderboard in their cribs, with us at the top spot 🥇! Watch out, parents, the tiny tyrants are onto us!! 👶😱"