Funny quotes best

81 Funny best quotes

My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

2 weeks ago

What’s the best job for someone who cries very easily and cannot handle any criticism?

3 weeks ago

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

1 month ago

Later is the best time to do anything.

1 month ago

He died doing what he did best, trying to get a croc to wear a Croc.

1 month ago

Best threesome: me, my bed and my pillow.

1 month ago

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

1 month ago

Every girl keeps an extra boyfriend and calls him ‘best friend’.

1 month ago

Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.

1 month ago

I’m glad laughter is the best medicine because my insurance sucks.

2 months ago

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

2 months ago

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

2 months ago

The best way to enjoy your tea while the world is falling apart around you is to remember that the world has always been falling apart around you.

2 months ago

Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

2 months ago

The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

2 months ago

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

2 months ago

Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

3 months ago

Showers are the best places to lose arguments with yourself.

3 months ago

The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

3 months ago

Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

3 months ago