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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

I like people who make eye contact like they know something I don’t.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

So apparently they don’t count as sit-ups if you’re just trying to get out of bed.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Have we checked all food to see if exploding it makes it into something better or did we just stop with corn?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

My door camera alerts are all just me stepping outside to see how warm it is.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Hi, I’m online. Would you like to argue for an hour about whether a hotdog is a sandwich?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,342

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

Making waves on Reddit:

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

Live now on TikTok:

I don’t miss calls, I stare at them.

Trending via TikTok:

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I have a very particular set of useless skills.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

Making waves on Reddit:

Was in a bookshop and asked a worker if he could recommend books to me. He said, ‘Sure, they’re great.’

Making waves on Discord:

I love when dudes are named Guy. Like, yeah. Exactly.

157 Funny best quotes

Funny best quotes 😂💭 are like little pockets of joy ready to tickle your brain and brighten your day! Dive into a world where words dance and wisdom giggles, offering a cheeky escape from the ordinary. Whether you’re in need of a clever comeback or just a giggle, these quotes are here to deliver laughs faster than you can say “LOL!” Get ready to smile and share the hilarity!

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Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.

83 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Skin coloured leggings should be illegal.

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Called in, “I can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

53 shares on Reddit this month:

Christmas is a very special time when I give my brother a $100 gift card, and he gives me a $100 gift card.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

81 shares on Threads this month:

“So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

88 shares on TikTok this month:

Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

Okay, new plan, I’m going to marry a Kardashian.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Science can’t explain it, but some hairs can grow up to a quarter inch overnight. Never in a good spot though.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I can’t tonight. I’m busy taking things personally.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Winter is actually awesome because if you put on a couple of movies at 5 p.m., it’s already pitch black and the evening is super long, so it feels like you’re staying up til 2 a.m., but in reality, it’s only 11 p.m. 10/10!

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Is 27 a good age to leave everything you know and love, and start over?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m now at the age where happy hour is a nap.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing worse than children talking about sex is adults talking about politics.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to choose to be nocturnal. The angry hot sky ball is gone, my internet is fast, everyone finally shut up, what’s not to like.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,643

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

This Dollar Tree energy drink has me seeing colors that aren’t available to the naked eye, yet.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Sometimes I think I should talk to my colleagues more often. Until I talk to my colleagues.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

This Monday has Monday written all over it.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the best thirst trap poster of them all?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I’m already ready to clock out from work tomorrow.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

At the grocery store, progressively booing louder as the clerk scans each item.

Spotted on TikTok:

Me: Hello, darkness, my old friend. Darkness: I have a boyfriend.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

Just shared via Pinterest:

One day you burned a CD for the last time and didn’t even realize it.

Making waves on Messenger:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

When you clean your room so well that the only trash left is you.

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