61 Funny breakup quotes

• Bursting into a million bats the second I see you.

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  3 hours ago

  bat, bats, breakup, fear, humor, i, joke, million, reaction, relationship, sarcasm, second

• My ex is somewhere telling his new girlfriend how bad I was, and she’s smiling, thinking she made it in life. Two idiots.

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  4 hours ago

  bad, breakup, ex, girlfriend, humor, i, idiot, idiots, jealousy, life, love, love life, new, new relationship, relationship, sarcasm, smiling, somewhere, telling, thinking

• The minute I start feeling like a mother to a man, the relationship is over.

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  6 hours ago

  breakup, feeling, humor, i, man, minute, mother, over, relationship, start

• Don’t worry, darling, you won’t break me. Someone already beat you to it.

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  10 hours ago

  beat, break, breakup, coping, heartbreak, humor, love, me, relationship, resilience, sarcasm, someone, witty, worry

• When someone says they’re never going to talk to me again, I do the right thing and say thank you.

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  11 hours ago

  again, attitude, breakup, communication, conversation, going, gratitude, humor, i, interaction, me, never, relationship, response, right, sarcasm, say, social, social interaction, someone, talk, thank, thing

• Manipulative birthday text to an ex idea: thank you for loving me briefly in the way that only you could.

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  11 hours ago

  birthday, breakup, ex, humor, idea, love, loving, manipulation, manipulative, me, only, sarcasm, text, thank

• Discovering the Spice Girls broke up not over money and fame but lesbianism.

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  23 hours ago

  breakup, broke, celebrity, fame, girl, girls, group, lesbianism, money, music, music group, over, relationship, rumor, spice, Spice Girl

• I found out my husband was cheating on me at a Linkin Park concert. We tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it didn’t even matter.

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  1 day ago

  betrayal, breakup, cheating, concert, end, even, found, got, hard, humor, husband, i, irony, linkin, Linkin Park, matter, me, music, park, relationship, tried

• Blocking him isn’t enough. I need to watch his hairline recede.

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  1 day ago

  blocking, breakup, enough, hairline, humor, i, media, need, observation, recede, revenge, social, social media, watch

• So my wife goes, “It’s not you — it’s me.” Obviously written by ChatGPT.

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  5 days ago

  AI, breakup, ChatGPT, communication, excuse, humor, me, relationship, wife

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