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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

If a girl sends you selfies and you don’t compliment her, she should be allowed to electrocute you.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Some people are like clouds. When they go away it’s much better.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Just because you can connect to your neighbor’s bluetooth speaker and play ghost noises doesn’t mean you should.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

I concern myself with the opinions of sheep because they are cute.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Being a girl must be so easy. All you do is cry all day and text 10 different guys.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

27 minutes ago

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

Freshly posted on Slack:

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

Breaking via Discord:

Outlook just asked me if I’m “enjoying” Microsoft Outlook. As if it’s not the Torment Portal.

Spotted on Slack:

They should invent more hobbies for people without skills or patience.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

Making waves on Discord:

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

Spotted on TikTok:

My phone went from fully charged to 10% while I was sleeping, so I guess it leads a more exciting nightlife than I do.

Just shared via Discord:

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

Spotted on Instagram:

Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

Going viral on Snapchat:

When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

Home » Funny Choices Quotes

45 Funny choices quotes

Funny choices quotes 🤔😂 are the perfect pick-me-up for those moments when life throws a curveball 🎢. Whether you’re stuck between two equally absurd options or just need a laugh to brighten your day, these quotes are here to remind you that sometimes all you can do is shrug, giggle, and go with the flow 🌟. Get ready to chuckle at the hilariously relatable scenarios we all face in this quirky adventure called life! 🎉

New funny choices quotes 👇

6 days ago
Share →: It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

Commentary:
Eating dirt: the original "organic" diet. 🌿🤔💁‍♂️
6 days ago
Share →: Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

Commentary:
Congratulations on your new personal best in decision-making Olympics! 🏆🤪🎉
2 weeks ago
Share →: All my life choices led me to this post right here, and if that’s not an indictment of free will, I don’t know what is.

Commentary:
"Is there a return policy on life choices? Asking for a friend. 🤔😂 #FreeWillFails"
2 weeks ago
Share →: As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

Commentary:
"Ah, the original 'Chef's Special'—with a side of tough love! 🍽️😂"
3 months ago
Share →: Choosing to ignore my strangely symbolic dream because I have a lot going on right now already.

Commentary:
"I guess you could say your dream symbolically represents your overwhelming to-do list… But who has time for dream analysis when you're already drowning in responsibilities? 🤷‍♂️💭 #DreamsCanWait"
4 months ago
Share →: People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

Commentary:
"Who says going home is a bad thing? 🏠💤 I'm all about embracing my inner cozy sloth and heading home for that sweet, sweet nap time. Go big or go home? More like go big, then go home for a nap! 😄💤"
4 months ago
Share →: I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

Commentary:
"Followed my heart and found a fridge full of possibilities! 🍔❤️ Who needs a map when you can follow the scent of pizza? 🍕😄 Let your heart guide you to the land of leftovers and midnight snacks! 🌙🥪 #FridgeIsBae"
4 months ago
Share →: Are you just gonna go with the flow until you spiral down the drain?

Commentary:
🌪️ "Are you planning to ride the lazy river of life all the way to the drain, or are you considering a more adventurous water slide approach?" 💦😂
5 months ago
Share →: Don’t worry. You’re exactly where you should be in life. Because you’ve made horrible choices.

Commentary:
"Don't fret, you're right on track in life! Just remember, it's all part of the grand plan of horrible choices 😅🤦‍♂️ #LifeGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

Commentary:
"Adulthood is a tricky balancing act – knowing you *could* have cookies for breakfast, but also realizing you wolfed them down last night in a moment of weakness 🍪😂 #adultingtroubles"

For even more funny choices quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny choices quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

27 minutes ago

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I am not in a good place, geographically.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

The nerve of a majority of people I meet being younger than me. How dare them?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

No, I don’t comment, I voodoo doll like a real adult.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Aliens probably have group chats called Don’t Stop on Earth.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

It’s really hard to come back after a poorly executed high five.

Trending via Messenger:

Hey, you wanna come to a wedding with me? You could be the groom.

Just landed via YouTube:

“I have a date with destiny.” Yeah well, I’m in a long-term relationship with the consequences of my actions.

Seen just now on Telegram:

At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

Live now on Threads:

Gaslighting myself into thinking I’m in a good mood.

Shared recently on WeChat:

“Age is just a number!” Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel.

Just shared via Slack:

Who called it a shopaholic and not a boughtanist?

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

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