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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

I wish I had a friend like me.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Is it cool if I come into your life and just never leave, like a stray cat?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Life hack: put on an apron at home and people think you’re super busy doing important stuff even when you’re not.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I tried a onesome before, but I started catching feelings.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

Updated

8 hours ago

Users Online

3,451

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’m looking forward to tomorrow. It’ll be much like today, but different enough to confuse me.

Just landed via Discord:

Anyone who says there are no stupid questions is welcome to drop by my office. My colleagues will prove you wrong.

Live now on Pinterest:

At what age do I delete Snapchat?

Reported on WhatsApp:

My plan is to die young as late as possible.

Going viral on TikTok:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

Seen just now on Discord:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Just landed via Twitch:

My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

Home » Funny Day Quotes » Page 14

476 Funny day quotes

More funny day quotes 👇

2 months ago
Share →: Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

Commentary:
"Smells like fresh happiness with a side of sunshine! 😄🌞🙌"
2 months ago
Share →: The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

Commentary:
"Ah yes, behold the ancient tales of the great Taco Bell that once stood where this Starbucks now reigns! 🏺📜😂"
2 months ago
Share →: People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

…

Commentary:
"Finally, a way to end the week with a *bang*! 🥊💥 Just imagine the 'Buy One, Get One Free' of stress relief! 🤣🙌 #FistOfTheWeek"
2 months ago
Share →: Gutted to report that spending a day offline, touching grass with my friends, was phenomenal for my mental health.

…

Commentary:
"Who knew Mother Nature's WiFi was this strong? 🌿😂 #GrassTherapy"
2 months ago
Share →: Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

…

Commentary:
"Trying to be normal is my superpower, but I must have left my cape at home! 🦸‍♂️😜😂"
2 months ago
Share →: So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

…

Commentary:
"Totally unfazed… except for when I'm side-eyeing you every 5 minutes. 🚶‍♂️👀💭😂"
2 months ago
Share →: At the end of the day, the day is going to end.

Commentary:
"When you're trying to sound deep but just discovered how time works. 😅⏳ #DeepThoughts"
2 months ago
Share →: Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

Commentary:
"Weekend: the ultimate prank where you think you're going to relax, but instead it's just a 48-hour existential crisis! 😂😴🤯"
2 months ago
Share →: Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

Commentary:
"When did I become a 'sweater' person? Next, I'll be hosting tea parties for my stuffed animals! 🧥☕️🐻"
2 months ago
Share →: Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

Commentary:
"Saturdays: the ultimate 'choose your own adventure' day! 😴🏃‍♂️ Or as I call it, 'Look busy while doing nothing!' 🍕📺"

For even more funny day quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny day quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

I’m so vulnerable to nostalgia. The sun will go down and I’ll be like: “Wow… remember when the sun was up… I miss who I was then”

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Whenever I’m willing to sell my soul, there’s usually food involved.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Ghosting is actually a sign of great respect in my culture.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

How do you react when you see someone you respect on an e-scooter?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Imagine she’s home alone, bored out of her mind, and she STILL won’t put that laundry away. She is me.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I wish someone would light up the way Siri does when I say, “Hey.”

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

I just saw someone on TikTok say that the reason the world didn’t end in 2012 is because Psy turned the Honmoon gold with Gangnam Style.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

“It can’t get any worse than this”, I lie to myself knowing it will absolutely get worse.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

Going viral on Threads:

Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

Just shared via Instagram:

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

Just shared via Twitch:

Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

Going viral on X:

I realized being an adult is just feeling too tired to function, and then functioning.

Going viral on TikTok:

In banana years, I am bread.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

476 Funny day quotes

More funny day quotes 👇

For even more funny day quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny day quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

No one is shocked when a defibrillator doesn’t work.

Why does tiredness on the couch not follow me to the bed?

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think “Wow, my house looks awesome!”

Sorry if my posts have any typos, it’s because I’m driving.

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

Whatever y’all heard about me, I’m way worse.

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

The concept of a courtroom sketch artist is so funny to me. Here’s our little murder doodler.

So why is it that when Star Trek ‘boldly go where no one has gone before’ they always find someone there?

I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them.

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