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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

In an effort to demonstrate how pointless internet debates are, please prove to me that snow is real.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

75% of being a divorce lawyer is just answering emails from clients saying, “No. No. No. You absolutely cannot do that, no.”

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I’ve got a couple of eyebrow hairs that want me to be a villain.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Why do women complain about size but moan when fingered?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Monday has a personal vendetta against my happiness.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

763 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,925

Funny Quotes Topics

13,894

Funny Quotes Images

10,925

42 minutes ago

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on LinkedIn:

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

Shared recently on Instagram:

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

Seen just now on Reddit:

A big part of my wife’s cardio routine is rolling away from me in bed.

Spotted on Instagram:

You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

Just landed via Messenger:

Nobody supports you like that one internet friend you’ve never met.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.

Going viral on Threads:

Everyone’s a badass until the doorbell rings.

Home » Funny Driver Quotes

16 Funny driver quotes

Funny driver quotes🚗😂 bring a hilarious twist to those moments stuck in traffic or cruising down the highway. Whether you’re a road trip pro or a daily commuter, these witty sayings add humor to the driver’s seat experience. Ready to laugh your way through red lights and detours? Buckle up and enjoy the ride filled with smiles and chuckles! 😄🛣️🚦

New funny driver quotes 👇

12 hours ago
Share →: Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, “I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!” Then I said, “Turn left.”

Commentary:
That's a quick way to show him who's really in charge! 😂🚖👌
5 days ago
Share →: Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

Commentary:
Sounds like it's time to hire a GPS just for life's detours! 🚦😂🚗
6 days ago
Share →: Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

Commentary:
"Next, they’ll add social media notifications to the road signs! 🙈🚗💥"
1 month ago
Share →: Transgender ambulance driver whose pronouns are we/you/we/you/we/you.

Commentary:
"Bet they really know how to 'trans-port' you in style! 🚑😂"
1 month ago
Share →: Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Commentary:
"Ah, the universal rule of traffic: Blame the person in front and proudly claim innocence in the line of chaos! 🚗💨😅"
2 months ago
Share →: Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

Commentary:
"Are we there yet? Because I see Margaritaville on the horizon! 🍹🚗😂"
5 months ago
Share →: Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

Commentary:
🚗💨 When stuck behind a slow driver, our true selves come out – the patient zen master or the frenzied road rage artist! Who knew bumper-to-bumper traffic could be such a revealing character test? 😜 #StayCalmAndDriveOn
6 months ago
Share →: Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

Commentary:
"Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him 'Just drive' is like asking for a ticket to the scenic route of Adventureland 🚌💸 Buckle up, folks, we're in for a wild ride! 🎢😄"
6 months ago
Share →: I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

Commentary:
"Talk about a serendipitous match made in taxi heaven! 🚗🇷🇺 Sounds like Mr. Andropov was born to be behind the wheel. Maybe he should consider a career switch to comedy – he's already got the perfect stage name! 😄 #UberGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

Commentary:
"Move over, Santa! 🎅🏻 Who needs the North Pole when you've got Amazon Prime? 🎁🚚 Let's make some cyber wishes come true, one delivery at a time! 🛍️💬 #NewAgeSanta"

For even more funny driver quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny driver quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

763 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,925

Funny Quotes Topics

13,894

Funny Quotes Images

10,925

42 minutes ago

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

My signature move is forgetting someone’s name 2 seconds after they tell me.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Everyone thinks they’re a badass until seaweed brushes their leg.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I’m the person who requested weather reporters stand in the storms. I have no concept of wind or rain and love seeing needless suffering.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I accidentally take a screenshot of my phone background at least once a week.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Weddings should have a worst man.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Just broke a clothes hanger and now have seven years of bad outfits.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

Seen just now on X:

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

Live now on Pinterest:

I’m so cold, I wish I could get in the dryer.

Spotted on Discord:

Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

Seen just now on Slack:

In my 20’s: might hit the club tonight. In my 40’s: might go to the grocery store to listen to some bangers.

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