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New funny quotes: 56 this month

15,809 funny quotes and pics

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Updated: Mar 13, 2026

 

 

 

 

27 Funny driver quotes

Funny driver quotes🚗😂 bring a hilarious twist to those moments stuck in traffic or cruising down the highway. Whether you’re a road trip pro or a daily commuter, these witty sayings add humor to the driver’s seat experience. Ready to laugh your way through red lights and detours? Buckle up and enjoy the ride filled with smiles and chuckles! 😄🛣️🚦

Whoever created / mandated the auto start-stop feature on cars should be dragged into the town square to be tarred and feathered!

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

Uber drivers have secret access to a streaming service of exclusively the worst music you’ve ever heard.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the driver gave us a knock this morning to make sure we were OK.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

I love when my Uber driver and I both shut the hell up for a full ride.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, “I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!” Then I said, “Turn left.”

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

Transgender ambulance driver whose pronouns are we/you/we/you/we/you.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

Posted onJan 29, 2026

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

Posted onJan 23, 2026

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

Posted onJan 23, 2026

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

Posted onJan 23, 2026

A driver that delivers Indian food is called a curryer.

Posted onJan 23, 2026

There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.

Posted onJan 22, 2026

There are three certainties in life: death, taxes and getting stuck behind a shit driver when you’re late.

Posted onJan 21, 2026

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

Posted onJan 20, 2026

People always talk about how they love to sit in their cars for a while once they get home. Whenever I do that, my Uber driver yells at me.

Posted onJan 20, 2026

When my sister drives, I am NOT passenger princess, I am a survivor.

Posted onJan 20, 2026

The worst part of a fender bender is having to get out of your car and meet a new person.

Posted onJan 19, 2026

My Uber driver didn’t try to talk to me the entire ride. Five stars.

Posted onJan 19, 2026

Have you ever been in the car with someone who drives like we got extra lives?

Posted onJan 19, 2026

Something very chic about crying while driving… have to keep it a little classy so you don’t crash… other drivers unaware a diva is down in the next lane over…

Posted onJan 19, 2026

I do not know how to put this gently, but part of being a good driver is using the gas and brake as little as humanly possible.

Posted onJan 18, 2026

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

Posted onJan 18, 2026

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