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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Maturing is when you’d rather drink your bourbon half-naked on the couch than go out.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I don’t know how to knit, so I made you a tinfoil hat.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Maybe the real American dream is the debt we collected along the way.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Hello, I’m looking for the people who said “I’ll always be there for you”. Has anyone seen them?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

“Work smarter, not harder.” Brother, I’m not doing either of those things.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

4,042

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Can everyone please turn their A/C off during the day, we need that power to generate images of people with eight fingers.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Girl math is crying for two hours and then realizing it wasn’t that deep.

Just landed via Threads:

I wish someone would light up the way Siri does when I say, “Hey.”

Going bananas on Reddit:

I have lived way too many lives for people to think they know everything about me.

Just shared via Threads:

I know breakfastless behavior when I see it.

Making waves on Twitch:

I don’t understand the concept of “the man of your dreams”. Every time my wife wakes up after dreaming about me, she is really pissed off about something dream me did.

Just landed via Twitch:

I live in my own little world. But it’s ok, they know me here.

Spotted on Messenger:

Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

This football season, we need to bring back getting drunk and calling in to your team’s local radio show after the game. Such a lost art.

39 Funny gratitude quotes

Funny gratitude quotes bring a splash of humor to saying thanks 😄💬, turning everyday appreciation into a giggle-worthy moment. Whether you’re feeling thankful or just need a smile, these witty gems remind us that gratitude doesn’t have to be serious all the time 🙌😂. Ready to lighten up your grateful heart and share some laughs? Let’s dive into the funniest ways to say thanks! 🎉✨

New funny gratitude quotes 👇

Dear music, thanks!

0

2 weeks ago

dear, gratitude, humor, music, thanks
People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

0

4 weeks ago

apartment, apartment window, Christmas, Christmas tree, decoration, display, face, gratitude, holiday, holiday humor, humor, people, public, public display, put, service, street, thank, thank you, tree, trees, window, Windows
My son was praying for “everybody in the world.” If you suddenly start experiencing good fortune, you’re welcome.

0

1 month ago

blessing, fortune, good, good fortune, gratitude, humor, prayer, praying, son, start, welcome, wish, world
A quick shoutout to all of the sidewalks out there… Thanks for keeping me off the streets.

0

2 months ago

gratitude, humor, keeping, me, quick, safety, shoutout, sidewalk, sidewalks, street, streets, thanks, walking
I woke up alive again.

0

2 months ago

again, alive, gratitude, humor, i, life, morning, waking, waking up, woke
When animals lead you to a place, it’s so cute… like, yes, I’m still following. Thank you for constantly turning around to make sure.

0

2 months ago

animal, animals, around, attention, behavior, care, communication, cute, follow, following, gratitude, interaction, lead, pet, pet behavior, place, still, sure, thank, turning, yes
I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

0

2 months ago

cause, cliff, comedy, drive, driving, grateful, gratitude, humor, i, irony, me, people, reckless, remember, safe, safety, sarcasm, tell
Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.

0

2 months ago

animal, animal humor, cats, day, domestic, domestic life, every, gratitude, home, house, humor, i, life, live, me, owner, pet, pet owner, thank
Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

0

2 months ago

beautiful, blessing, cheerful, day, gratitude, humor, lord, nature, outdoors, positivity, smell, sunny, sunny day
I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

0

2 months ago

expression, finger, gratitude, humor, i, me, middle, middle finger, sticking, sticking up, support, thank

For even more funny gratitude quotes, hit next 👇

All funny gratitude quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Discord this month:

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

88 shares on Facebook this month:

Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

47 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.

92 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

48 shares on WeChat this month:

Eat like your treadmill is watching.

18 shares on X this month:

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Ninety percent of my new follows are beautiful women, which tells me one thing: I’ve still got it!

20 folks are currently checking 👀

With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The night terrors don’t scare me half as much as the day terrors.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Julia Garner most confusing name because it calls to mind both Julia Roberts and Jennifer Garner, but she is neither.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,678

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

You ever see a woman so beautiful it makes you momentarily mentally ill?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I was telling my sister that I’ve been going to the gym recently, and my nephew said, “You should go inside when you get there,” and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from that.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Remember, if you start with, “It’s crazy to think…” you can say whatever you want.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Asking my landlord if he has any Cyber Monday deals.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother, and we should respect her.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

90% of parenting is wondering when you can lie down again.

Spotted on Telegram:

We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

Just shared via Twitch:

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

Spotted on X:

Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Today’s toddlers can switch on laptops and use apps. When I was little, I ate sand.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Never let your job prevent you from acting unemployed.

Just shared via TikTok:

Packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix.

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