15 Funny green quotes

• Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything.

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  6 hours ago

  drinking, everything, fix, going, green, green tea, humor, me, optimism, tea

• Sat at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green, if you’re wondering how I’m doing today.

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  1 day ago

  doing, driving, frustration, green, humor, joke, patience, sat, sign, stop, stop sign, today, traffic, turn, waiting, wondering

• Accepting you’re about to throw up, gotta be the worst feeling on God’s green earth.

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  2 days ago

  bodily, bodily function, discomfort, Earth, feeling, function, gods, green, nausea, sickness, throw, throw up, worst, worst feeling

• Did you know? By replacing your coffee with green tea, you can lose up to 92% of what little joy you still have left in your life.

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  2 weeks ago

  addiction, beverage, caffeine, coffee, green, green tea, health, humor, joy, know, left, life, lifestyle, little, lose, mood, sarcasm, still, tea

• Before marriage, I would sit at a stoplight for hours because I had no one to tell me the light had changed to green.

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  1 month ago

  before, driving, green, green light, hours, humor, i, light, marriage, me, patience, relationship, sit, stoplight, tell, waiting

• I got a bumper sticker that says, “Honk if you think I’m pretty.” Sometimes I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself.

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  2 months ago

  better, bumper, bumper sticker, confidence, driving, feel, got, green, green light, honk, humor, i, just, light, lights, myself, pretty, self-esteem, sit, sometimes, sticker, think

• I used to mix Mountain Dew with the cheapest vodka I could find, and I called it the Blood of Mannaroth because it’s green and turns you into an orc.

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  2 months ago

  alcoholic, alcoholic beverage, beverage, blood, Blood of Mannaroth, dew, drink, fantasy, green, green drink, humor, i, mannaroth, mix, mixing, mixing drink, mountain, Mountain Dew, nickname, orc, used, vodka

• Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said ‘Nope, too freaky!’

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  2 months ago

  boys, city, culture, even, fantasy, fantasy humor, Gandalf, geek, geek humor, girls, green, humor, lord, Lord of the Rings, me, Moria, nope, parody, pop, pop culture, rings, said, satire, take, too, where

• Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.

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  2 months ago

  back, big, chocolate, deforestation, Dubai, Dubai chocolate, due, environmental, environmental humor, green, humor, irony, jealousy, matcha

• Avocado is just green butter.

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  2 months ago

  avocado, butter, comparison, culinary, culinary joke, fat, food, food comparison, food humor, green, healthy, healthy fat, humor, joke, just

All funny green quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌