I always preferred the English spelling of "diarrhea" which is "diarrhoea" because it really looks like you've lost control of your vowels.

I always preferred the English spelling of “diarrhea” which is “diarrhoea” because it really looks like you’ve lost control of your vowels.

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the English spelling of 'diarrhoea' truly gives the impression that your vowels are on the loose! 🤣🇬🇧 Watch out, those vowels are running wild! 🏃‍♂️💨 #LostInTranslation"

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

Commentary:
Oh, dear, it seems like we have a culinary conundrum! 🤔🍖 Is it a case of mispronunciation or a dramatic dining disaster in the making? 🙈🍴 Let's hope it's just a linguistic slip-up and not a medical emergency! 😅🚑 #CharcuterieConfusion

Why did they call it K-pop and not Seoul music?

Why did they call it K-pop and not Seoul music?

Commentary:
"Why did they call it K-pop and not Seoul music? I guess they wanted to make sure it had that extra 'pop' of catchy tunes and killer dance moves! 🎶💃"

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

Commentary:
Looks like your swear jar is pulling in more cash than a lemonade stand in summer! 💰🍋 Keep those coins coming in, and who knows, you might just reach "cuss-word tycoon" status! 💸😄

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

Commentary:
Hmm, sounds like a solid strategy for expanding your vocabulary Scottish-style! 🏴 Just throw in some gibberish with a thick accent and watch the puzzled nods roll in. Who needs a dictionary when you've got a bonnie way with words like "janglers" and "tary bibbit"? 😉

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

Commentary:
"Life's too short to worry about semicolons; just confidently sprinkle them around like confetti at a punctuation party! 💁‍♂️🎉 #SemicolonConfidence"

The Welsh language was invented by a dad losing at Scrabble.

The Welsh language was invented by a dad losing at Scrabble.

Commentary:
Well, if that's the case, I wonder if he got a triple word score for creativity! 🏴🤓 #DadJokes #WordplayWins

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

Commentary:
🇫🇷 Ah, the universal gossiping language: French! These women clearly underestimated the multilingual powers of our not-so-dumb American friend here. 😏 Who knew being underestimated could be so entertaining? C'est la vie! 💁‍♀️

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

Commentary:
"Imagine the poor soul, staring at that endless 'na' sequence, contemplating existence like 🍌🤯 Did they run out of bananas for inspiration or simply lose their 'na'gination? The world may never know! 🤔😂"

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

Commentary:
"Ah, the mysterious language of teenagers – a combination of eye rolls, grunts, and unsolicited opinions in a dialect only understood by fellow parents. 🤦‍♂️ Can't wait for that magical moment when coherent sentences make a comeback! 🙏😂"