Funny quotes mind Page 2

59 Funny mind quotes

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

3 months ago

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

3 months ago

I don’t mind being fully naked or my top half being naked, but I hate being naked from the waist down only. This is why I could never be a cartoon duck.

3 months ago

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

3 months ago

Never mind a Roomba, I need a robot garbage can that will follow my kids around the house all day.

3 months ago

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

3 months ago

Whoever said “out of sight out of mind” never lost a spider in the bedroom.

3 months ago

Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

3 months ago

If you’re going to stare all night and not say hello, do you mind taking your fingers and squishing my head from across the room?

3 months ago

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

3 months ago

I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

3 months ago

I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

3 months ago

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

3 months ago

Here’s a question for all the mind readers out there.

3 months ago

Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

3 months ago

I would like to have the peace of mind of a cow. I already have the body.

3 months ago

Changing your mind is an underrated activity.

3 months ago

“Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t work for donuts.

3 months ago

If dogs ever learn to talk, I want everyone to keep in mind that mine is a big fat liar.

3 months ago

Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

3 months ago

If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

3 months ago

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

3 months ago

Not to brag but I don’t even need meditation, my mind goes blank the second someone asks me for directions.

3 months ago

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

3 months ago

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.

3 months ago

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

3 months ago

I will be posting telepathically on all social media today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.

3 months ago

The wind is about to blow me to Oz, so if you see me flying past your window, mind your business.

3 months ago

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

3 months ago