18 Funny mine quotes

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  1 month ago

  Share →: My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.

  Commentary:
  "Can't wait to see my phone's travel vlog before it becomes my personal spy! 📱🕵️‍♂️🚚 #ItKnowsTooMuch"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Y’all can keep the nonchalant ones — I want mine weak in the knees about me.

  Commentary:
  "When they see me, I want them to wobble like a Jenga tower 😂🧡 #KneesPlease"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

  Commentary:
  "Sure, be the villain in their story – after all, they're just a clown in yours! 🤡💥 Who needs a hero when you've got a comedy show to watch unfold? 😆 #VillainVsClown"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

  Commentary:
  "Money talks, but apparently mine speaks fluent 'Goodbye'! 💸🚪 Looks like my wallet has commitment issues. 💔😆"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

  Commentary:
  "Next time someone questions if your dog is adopted, hit 'em with that 'biologically mine' sass! 🐾 Don't mess with the paw-sonalities in this pack! 🤣 #FurReal #DoggyDNA"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like someone took 'traveling light' a bit too literally! 🚂💼😅 #ForgetfulTraveler #MinimalistGoals"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like science is all bones and no fun, while English lit is about to get a major body makeover! 💀📚 Let's add a splash of intrigue to those old dusty books! Who knew cadavers could be so well-read?"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

  Commentary:
  🎨 "Ah, the mysteries of parenting through the ages! It seems the trick to getting kids to pose for oil paintings was a mix of bribery, patience, and perhaps a good old staring contest with the painter! 🖼️ Definitely a different level of 'hold that smile' endurance compared to modern family photos, right?" 🤣

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: “I’m not ordering fries, I’ll just eat some of yours!” -Former friends of mine

  Commentary:
  "Sharing fries is the ultimate test of friendship…unless you're the one constantly giving up your delicious, golden treasures to "former friends." 🍟😂 Remember, friends don't let friends steal their fries!"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic 'free speech for me, not for thee' argument – a true masterpiece of irony. 🎤🤫 It's like saying 'I believe in sharing, but only if it's my ice cream!' 🍦😂 #SelectiveFreeSpeech #ShhJustListen"

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