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18 Funny mine quotes

Trending Funny Mine Quotes

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.
I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.
As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.
The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.
“I’m not ordering fries, I’ll just eat some of yours!” -Former friends of mine

New funny mine quotes 👇

1 week ago
Share →: My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.

Commentary:
"Can't wait to see my phone's travel vlog before it becomes my personal spy! 📱🕵️‍♂️🚚 #ItKnowsTooMuch"
4 weeks ago
Share →: Y’all can keep the nonchalant ones — I want mine weak in the knees about me.

Commentary:
"When they see me, I want them to wobble like a Jenga tower 😂🧡 #KneesPlease"
2 months ago
Share →: I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

Commentary:
"Sure, be the villain in their story – after all, they're just a clown in yours! 🤡💥 Who needs a hero when you've got a comedy show to watch unfold? 😆 #VillainVsClown"
5 months ago
Share →: Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

Commentary:
"Money talks, but apparently mine speaks fluent 'Goodbye'! 💸🚪 Looks like my wallet has commitment issues. 💔😆"
5 months ago
Share →: Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

Commentary:
"Next time someone questions if your dog is adopted, hit 'em with that 'biologically mine' sass! 🐾 Don't mess with the paw-sonalities in this pack! 🤣 #FurReal #DoggyDNA"
5 months ago
Share →: The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone took 'traveling light' a bit too literally! 🚂💼😅 #ForgetfulTraveler #MinimalistGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

Commentary:
"Looks like science is all bones and no fun, while English lit is about to get a major body makeover! 💀📚 Let's add a splash of intrigue to those old dusty books! Who knew cadavers could be so well-read?"
5 months ago
Share →: How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

Commentary:
🎨 "Ah, the mysteries of parenting through the ages! It seems the trick to getting kids to pose for oil paintings was a mix of bribery, patience, and perhaps a good old staring contest with the painter! 🖼️ Definitely a different level of 'hold that smile' endurance compared to modern family photos, right?" 🤣
5 months ago
Share →: “I’m not ordering fries, I’ll just eat some of yours!” -Former friends of mine

Commentary:
"Sharing fries is the ultimate test of friendship…unless you're the one constantly giving up your delicious, golden treasures to "former friends." 🍟😂 Remember, friends don't let friends steal their fries!"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'free speech for me, not for thee' argument – a true masterpiece of irony. 🎤🤫 It's like saying 'I believe in sharing, but only if it's my ice cream!' 🍦😂 #SelectiveFreeSpeech #ShhJustListen"