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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Having a crush as an adult is soooo embarrassing. I’m literally too old for this. I’m gonna learn how to forge a sword.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I am stoned and laying in bed reading, and the idea of Santa going on Ozempic popped into my head, and I whispered, “No!”

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Doctors don’t really need to hit you with that rubber hammer, it’s just how they release a lil tension through the day.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Since I stopped texting first, I haven’t heard from a lot of people in a while.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

I hate it when someone gives me a valid solution to my problem and I have to find something new to complain about.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

509 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,102

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,102

Updated

Dec 24, 2025

Users Online

3,681

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

Shared recently on Facebook:

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

Seen just now on WeChat:

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

Trending via Instagram:

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

Broadcasted on X:

Can you turn your swag off for one second and listen?

Trending via Twitch:

My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

Making waves on X:

Stupid cow blocking the road. HOW DAIRY!

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The first Saw movie should have been called Footloose.

Home » Funny Motivation Quotes » Page 3

353 Funny motivation quotes

More funny motivation quotes 👇

Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

0

1 month ago

daily, daily routine, day, encouragement, every, got, humor, i, motivation, myself, routine, self-talk, tell, weirdness
This post ain’t gonna like itself, damn.

0

1 month ago

casual, casual language, humor, language, media, motivation, post, procrastination, social, social media
The best way to get through Monday is to pretend it’s Tuesday.

0

1 month ago

best, humor, mindset, Monday, motivation, pretend, procrastination, through, Tuesday, workweek
“Do something with your life.” Um, I am. Have you heard of a little thing called squandering?

0

1 month ago

advice, am, humor, i, life, little, motivation, procrastination, sarcasm, something, squandering, thing
Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

0

1 month ago

advice, humor, life, life advice, motivation, nothing, procrastination, timeline, want
Trying to bribe Monday with coffee to get it to act like a Friday.

0

1 month ago

act, bribe, coffee, Friday, humor, Monday, motivation, procrastination, trying, weekday, workday
“I’m at a point in my life where I don’t go anywhere unless I absolutely have to.”

0

1 month ago

absolutely, anywhere, going, going out, humor, i, laziness, life, life stage, motivation, obligation, point, stage, where
Just a little reminder to laugh as much as you can, stay hydrated, and don’t let shitty people kill your vibe.

0

1 month ago

attitude, humor, hydrated, hydration, just, kill, laugh, let, little, motivation, much, people, positivity, reminder, self-care, stay, vibe
Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

0

1 month ago

adulting, difficult, doing, emotion, enough, feel, growth, minute, motivation, next, personal, personal growth, pride, proud, self-doubt, struggle, yourself
Does running actually get easier if you do it a lot, or is it that you just get more masochistic?

1

1 month ago

actually, easier, endurance, exercise, fitness, humor, just, lot, masochism, motivation, pain, running

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Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Twitch this month:

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

55 shares on Instagram this month:

As a Dad, you always want your kids to be prepared for real life, that’s why trolling them is so vital.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

45 shares on X this month:

Every group chat has that one person who never replies, and it’s me.

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

37 shares on TikTok this month:

The problem with meal prep is you have to eat the meal that you prepped.

13 shares on Telegram this month:

Two reasons you never date at work: 1. HR frowns upon it. 2. Your partner gets super pissed.

66 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t always clear my calculator… but when I do, I hit both ‘C’ and ‘CE’ a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

Best thing about staying in an Airbnb is trying to see what’s in that one locked closet.

63 shares on Twitch this month:

The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here’s an even bigger Q4 number that you’ll be fired for missing.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Responding to all selfies with “this should work.”

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Sometimes I’ll drink a ginger ale and eat a Biscoff cookie and sit up in kind of an unnatural position and pretend I’m on a Delta flight.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Getting older is so fun. Your life goals slowly transition from things like ‘land a dream job’ to ‘successfully grow a cherry tomato.’

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Forced to say “it’s okay” instead of throwing a chair at them.

Spotted on Twitch:

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I don’t understand people who don’t have kids. Imagine having absolutely nobody to blame when you’re late.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Kids these days don’t know the shame of having to explain yo-yo injuries.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Bloopers in movie credits is a lost art form.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I hate when I’m trying to spell a word, and my phone can’t do it either.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Calling the police when someone unfollows.

Just shared via TikTok:

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

Activity Log ✨

353 Funny motivation quotes

More funny motivation quotes 👇

All funny motivation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨