42 Funny neighbor quotes

• Every time my neighbors start moaning, I pause my music to rate the performance.

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  6 hours ago

  entertainment, every, humor, i, moan, moaning, music, neighbor, neighbors, pause, performance, rate, rating, sound, start, time

• I saved a ton of money on a security system by stealing my neighbor’s.

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  22 hours ago

  humor, i, money, neighbor, neighbors, saved, saving, security, security system, stealing, system

• Once I matched with a guy and ended up finding out he lived in my neighborhood, so I told him to go outside and scream, and he did. And I heard it.

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  1 day ago

  dating, finding, funny story, guy, humor, i, interaction, lived, match, neighbor, neighborhood, once, outside, scream, social, social interaction, story, told

• Can’t believe my neighbor rang my doorbell at 3 a.m. last night… Luckily, I was still up playing the drums.

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  2 weeks ago

  3, 3 a.m., a.m., am, believe, doorbell, drums, funny situation, i, last, late, late night, neighbor, night, noise, playing, playing drums, situation, still, unexpected, unexpected visit, visit

• In all the movies, Santa never goes to the house directly next door. He always gets in his sleigh and flies off like 20 miles east.

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  3 weeks ago

  20, always, Christmas, door, east, flight, holiday, house, humor, miles, movie, neighbor, never, next, Santa, sleigh

• Just found out my 84-year-old neighbour is on his own tomorrow, so I’ve just been over to collect his spare chairs to borrow.

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  4 weeks ago

  age, borrow, borrowing, chair, chairs, Christmas, elderly, found, humor, just, loneliness, neighbor, over, own, spare, tomorrow, visit

• The neighbor girl told my kids she wouldn’t come over until they cleaned their rooms, so I guess I do have a favorite child.

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  2 months ago

  child, chore, clean, clean room, cleaned, excuse, family, favorite, favorite child, girl, guess, humor, i, kids, neighbor, over, parenting, room, rooms, told

• “I” before “E,” except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from weird, feisty, caffeinated weightlifters.

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  2 months ago

  before, caffeinated, caffeinated weightlifter, counterfeit, counterfeit sleigh, E, eight, except, feisty, foreign, foreign neighbor, i, keith, name, name Keith, neighbor, number, number eight, rule, sleigh, spelling, spelling rule, weightlifter, weird

• If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

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  2 months ago

  cancel, distraction, entertainment, fight, fighting, i, keep, need, neighbor, neighbors, noise, service, services, streaming, streaming service

• My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.

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  2 months ago

  budget, celebration, everyone, firework, happy, humor, independence, july, neighbor, sarcasm, unemployed, wish

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