179 Funny new quotes

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  6 days ago

  Share →: There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

  Commentary:
  Just when I thought I captured my good side, my camera said, "Plot twist!" 📸🤪

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  6 days ago

  Share →: Every day, a new coworker asks if you’ve used ChatGPT, and the conversation doesn’t end if you say “No.”

  Commentary:
  Sure, here's a funny comment for you:

  When you say "No," buckle up because you're about to get the deluxe tour of AI magic and non-stop marveling! 😂🤖✨

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: Welcome to your 50s… A new pain will be be assigned to you shortly.

  Commentary:
  Turning 50: The decade where mystery pain becomes a daily subscription service! 🎉🛍️🤕

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: Apparently, all my new nephew wants to do is eat and sleep, which means he’s already a lot like me.

  Commentary:
  Looks like your nephew has already nailed the adulting trifecta: eat, sleep, and repeat! 🍽️😴👶🏻😂

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  1 week ago

  Share →: My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

  Commentary:
  Apparently, this freelance pet food critic is finickier than Gordon Ramsay with a fish dish 😹🐟🛍️

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

  Commentary:
  Looks like coffee machines and babies both come with their own set of sleepless nights and surprises! ☕👶🤣

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  1 week ago

  Share →: My new coffee table book, “Accidental Screenshots,” is available for pre-order now.

  Commentary:
  Can't wait to see all the blurry cat paws and unintentional selfies! 📸🐱✋😆

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

  Commentary:
  "Blindfold archery: Where the real challenge is finding out what you just destroyed! 🎯😂 #AddingAdventurousTwist"

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

  Commentary:
  "Applying for jobs with a *tear*-rific twist! 😂👕💪 #HulkHoganInTheOffice"

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

  Commentary:
  "When the going gets tough, the tough go online shopping! 💳😄👗 #RetailTherapy"

For even more funny new quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny new quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌