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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Really miss the drama of being able to angrily shut a flip phone.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

“Unavailable” is my favorite state to be in.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Can I just skip to the part in my life where I’m rich and happily in love?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

615 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,208

Funny Quotes Topics

17,340

Funny Quotes Images

15,208

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,784

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Sometimes I don’t worry about things at all and other times I am awake.

Trending via Discord:

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Going ballistic. Anyone need anything?

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m not your dream woman. I am the sudden shouting of ravens that you hear when you enter a part of the forest you shouldn’t have.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Maturing is realizing you’re not stable enough to do mushrooms.

Just shared via Slack:

Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

When people talk about enriching their lives, I assume they’ve found a way to add more cheese.

Trending via Messenger:

I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

Going viral on Reddit:

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

246 Funny new quotes

Funny new quotes capture the excitement, awkwardness, and unexpected chaos that comes with trying something for the first time! 😂✨ Whether it’s a new job, a new hobby, or just a new way to embarrass yourself, these quotes remind us that beginnings are rarely perfect — but they’re almost always funny. Here’s to fresh starts with a side of laughter! 😆🆕🚀

New funny new quotes 👇

For even more funny new quotes, hit next 👇

All funny new quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Reddit this month:

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

59 shares on WeChat this month:

“I’ll see” = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

They should invent a day where it all works out.

64 shares on Discord this month:

I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.

56 shares on Messenger this month:

If Halloween is over, then why am I still scared?

13 shares on Instagram this month:

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

77 shares on YouTube this month:

Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

26 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m out drinking and “Push It” starts playing, take me home immediately.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

One of the most disappointing things is when you get a severe thunderstorm warning, and there is no severe thunderstorm.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Cows are very calm, considering the whole floor is food to them.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

615 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,208

Funny Quotes Topics

17,340

Funny Quotes Images

15,208

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,729

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, I am literally obsessed with the woman I am when I get stuff done, so I’m just going to keep doing that.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Gimme coffee or I’ll sleep amok!

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Starting a new life today, bye.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Some people buy shoes to feel alive. I buy boarding passes.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Spoiler alert: Eventually you will pay a price for the way you treated people.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

NFTs were less about the money and more about the friends you scammed along the way.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Nostalgia isn’t as good as it used to be.

Spotted on Pinterest:

When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

Going viral on Facebook:

My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the driver gave us a knock this morning to make sure we were OK.

Live now on Slack:

“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I only accept apologies in cash.

Going viral on Telegram:

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Why do birds love going apeshit first thing in the morning?

Just shared via Messenger:

At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I come from a long line of people with something wrong with them.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Introducing WifeChat™, the app where you talk to your wife.

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