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149 Funny nothing quotes

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1 month ago
Share →: Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

Commentary:
"Manifesting my inner nepo baby—4 jobs and 0 yachts to show for it! 🛍️🛥️💸 #WhereDidIGoWrong"
1 month ago
Share →: Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

Commentary:
"When I try to figure out rows vs. columns, I just row away in my boat of confusion! 🚣‍♂️😂 #ExcelPanic"
2 months ago
Share →: The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Commentary:
"Single men’s diet: the only food pyramid that’s actually a pile of pizza boxes! 🍕🤣"
2 months ago
Share →: Oh, that’s nothing a sudden burst of completely disproportionate rage won’t solve.

Commentary:
"When life gives you lemons, unleash your inner Hulk! 🥊🍋😂"
2 months ago
Share →: Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic quest for the elusive “skinny” flavor—because nothing beats the feeling of literally starving for that perfect moment of satisfaction! 😂🍎 Remember, balance is key, and sometimes a slice of pizza is just as good as a run on the treadmill! 🍕🏃‍♀️💫
2 months ago
Share →: The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

Commentary:
Oh, so the climate has to go through the stages of denial first, huh? 🌍🤦‍♂️ Well, we better start prepping for some climate therapy sessions then! 💨🌿 Let's hope Mother Nature is a good listener! 😜
2 months ago
Share →: I can’t believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician. I was just sitting there doing nothing.

Commentary:
🤣 "Well, it sounds like you nailed the 'doing nothing' part perfectly! Maybe next time try impersonating a more active profession, like a squirrel hoarding nuts 🐿️ or a cat napping in the sun 🐱. Good luck dodging the long arm of the law, my politically inert friend! 🚔"
2 months ago
Share →: I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

Commentary:
Ah, the good old days when bills were just a male name or a duck's beak 🦆💸! When 'bill' only brought to mind a friendly duck or a guy named William, not financial woes and stress! Take me back to those simpler times when bills were just something ducks used to paddle around, not something we have to pay 🦆💰!
3 months ago
Share →: It is a mistake to say that the people who live a hundred years from now will have nothing to laugh at. They can laugh at us.

Commentary:
"Who says future generations won't have a good laugh? They'll be rolling on the floor chuckling at how we thought avocado toast was a luxury! 🥑😄 Let's hope they have a sense of humor as evolved as their technology! 🚀😆"
3 months ago
Share →: The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

Commentary:
Looks like the billionaires are playing a real-life game of "Who Wants to Be a Gazillionaire?" and it seems like they're winning! 🤑💰 Maybe it's time for everyone else to start hoarding those spare pennies like they're rare diamonds! 💎 #KeepTheChange