178 Funny office quotes

• I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later, my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.

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  6 days ago

  boss, caught, i, kid, kids, later, me, minutes, office, outside, pot, prank, smoking, smoking pot, workplace

• Handing over my ID at the post office. The clerk said, “You’ve aged quite a bit since this photo was taken.” I said, “Yes, I had it taken just before I joined this queue.”

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  6 days ago

  aging, before, bit, clerk, humor, i, ID, interaction, joke, just, office, over, photo, post, post office, queue, said, taken, yes

• When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

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  6 days ago

  camera, camera zoom, commentary, contact, episode, eye, eye contact, humor, i, marriage, married, office, side, style, The Office, video, video style, want, wedding, wedding video, Zoom

• No HR complaint formed against me shall prosper.

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  6 days ago

  complaint, defense, hr, HR complaint, humor, legal, me, office, workplace

• Wearing expensive perfume to work feels like such a waste. This should be under someone’s full body weight, not in a corporate setting.

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  6 days ago

  body, corporate, expensive, feels, fragrance, full, humor, office, perfume, scent, setting, should, under, waste, weight, work

• The longer I work in corporate, the more I realize… Micromanaging is just insecurity dressed up as leadership.

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  6 days ago

  corporate, dressed, humor, i, insecurity, just, leadership, longer, management, micromanaging, office, realize, work

• Clicking on a suspicious link at work just to feel something.

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  7 days ago

  behavior, boredom, clicking, feel, humor, internet, just, link, office, office humor, online, online behavior, risk-taking, something, suspicious, suspicious link, work

• How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

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  7 days ago

  corporate, corporate job, day, email, fake, fake job, home, humor, i, job, jobs, laptop, lazy, lazy work, life, office, office humor, open, outlook, paid, remote, remote work, responding, whatever, where, work, work from home, work life

• It’s truly insane when bosses assume their employees are working for any reason other than a paycheck.

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  7 days ago

  assume, assumption, boss, employee, employees, humor, insane, job, motivation, office, paycheck, reason, truly, work, working

• I told a joke to my boss, and he must have found it really funny because now I get to tell it to HR.

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  7 days ago

  boss, employee, found, Funny, gone, hr, humor, i, joke, joke gone wrong, management, office, tell, told, workplace, workplace humor, wrong

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