19 Funny ones quotes — Wordgag ツ

Great minds think alike. Unfortunately, so do stupid ones.

4 days ago4 days ago

Anyone else smile at old people just to show that you’re one of the good ones.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

My best three minutes of sleep are the ones right before the alarm goes off.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

You get your hands on a real serious pair of scissors and wonder what the hell they were doing with the regular ones.

1 month ago1 month ago

Why make new mistakes when you can keep repeating the same old familiar ones.

2 months ago2 months ago

My diet plan is sometimes, when I’m eating chips, I drop some on the floor, and I don’t eat those ones.

2 months ago2 months ago

How come all the single people don’t need no one, and all the married ones need two?

2 months ago2 months ago

Men can be sorted into two camps: the ones who get haircuts way before they need them, and the ones who wait until people in their lives are complaining.

2 months ago2 months ago

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

2 months ago2 months ago

It’s a beautiful day to ignore your existing problems and create new ones.

2 months ago2 months ago

First time buying fireworks, and I wasn’t sure I’d picked the right ones until the salesman gave me a wink and high-foured me.

2 months ago2 months ago

Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

3 months ago3 months ago

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

3 months ago3 months ago

I like when the superheroes that can fly pick up and carry the ones that can’t.

3 months ago3 months ago

Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.

3 months ago3 months ago

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

4 months ago4 months ago

The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

4 months ago4 months ago

Y’all can keep the nonchalant ones — I want mine weak in the knees about me.

4 months ago4 months ago

Discovered a new coping mechanism called lashing out and making your loved ones resent you.

4 months ago4 months ago