172 Funny person quotes

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  1 month ago

  Share →: Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

  Commentary:
  "Running on personality time! ⏰😅 #FashionablyLate"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

  Commentary:
  "When I look in the mirror, it feels like I'm in a time-travel comedy where the punchline is my reflection! 😂🪞👵"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

  Commentary:
  "Dream big, but end meetings bigger! 😅🕒 #HeroStatus"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, fresh air and fresh judgments… the original social media! 📱➡️🙋‍♀️🌳 #OfflineCritiques"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

  Commentary:
  "Finally, a productive use for my least favorite sibling! 😂🙈 #BlameGameChampion"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

  Commentary:
  "Sounds like a social experiment ready for a sitcom! 😂🚪🔧"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

  Commentary:
  "Are you secretly the voice of the automated overlords? 🤖📞😂"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: You ever spend the day with a skinny person and are like “ohhhh, that’s why you’re skinny”.

  Commentary:
  "When you realize their secret is saying no to fries while my secret is… extra fries 😂🍟 #Oops"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

  Commentary:
  Sounds like you've mastered the art of the professional procrastinator! 🕒😅 "I have an appointment at 4pm, so I can't do anything all day" — the perfect excuse to avoid chores and binge-watch your favorite shows instead. 📺🍿 Just remember, even your calendar needs a break from all that *busy* relaxation! 😂✨

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

  Commentary:
  Oh, the classic case of someone ad-libbing in life's script, throwing off your carefully rehearsed lines! 🎭 It's like when you're play-acting a conversation in your head, and the other person decides to improvise on you! 😂 Stay on cue, people! #LifeIsNotARehearsal

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