Funny quotes person Page 2

146 Funny person quotes

Why do people think it’s ok to ask why a person is single? I don’t ask why you’re unhappily married.

Funny Quotes Feb 5, 2025

When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.

Funny Quotes Feb 5, 2025

Everyone thinks they will be the first person in history to maintain their dignity while posting online.

Funny Quotes Feb 3, 2025

Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

Funny Quotes Feb 3, 2025

I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

My signature move is waving at someone who is waving at the person behind me.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

How dare you? I’m literally the sweetest most rage filled person on earth.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast it had to be done by Elvis.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

I’m a private person except for when I’m publicly trauma dumping on social media.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

Funny Quotes Jan 29, 2025

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

Funny Quotes Jan 29, 2025

An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

You don’t know a person until you’ve seen them eat popcorn.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025