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10,000+ funny quotes

101 Funny personal quotes

The secret ingredient to being really funny is childhood trauma.

3 months ago

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

3 months ago

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

3 months ago

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this cigarette just now.

3 months ago

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

3 months ago

People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

3 months ago

I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.

3 months ago

If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

3 months ago

My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

3 months ago

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

3 months ago

You’re never too old to become less of an idiot.

3 months ago

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

3 months ago

Pornhub should do a wrap-up of your year like Spotify does.

3 months ago

Your opinions are not my business.

3 months ago

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.

3 months ago

I don’t post for money or fame, I post because there’s something seriously wrong with me.

3 months ago

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

3 months ago

Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

3 months ago

I would describe my personal style as whatever is on top of the pile of clothes on the floor.

3 months ago

Hair is washed. I am finally lovable and capable of loving again.

3 months ago