Multitask? I can barely unitask.

Multitask? I can barely unitask.

Commentary:
"Multitask? More like multi-CAN'T task! I struggle just to focus on one thing at a time, let alone juggle several 🤯✋ #UnitaskingChampion"

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

Commentary:
"Sorry, my 'just-rolled-out-bed' look is like the ultimate shield! 💪😂 Who needs armor when you've got bedhead and pillow imprints, am I right?"

I can’t stop thinking about how a tanning bed really turns you into the human version of a gas station hot dog.

I can’t stop thinking about how a tanning bed really turns you into the human version of a gas station hot dog.

Commentary:
"Who knew getting a tan could also make you feel like a processed snack on display! 🌭😂 Just remember, you're not a hot dog, you're a hot doggone good-looking human! 😎🔥"

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I'm doing while I'm doing it.

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

Commentary:
"Guess who's mastered the art of multitasking and monotasking at the same time? 🤷‍♂️💭 Who needs a planner when you can surprise yourself with your own forgetfulness! 😂 #Skillz"

There is a reason I'm single and it's called my face.

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

Commentary:
"Who needs a relationship when you have a face that can charm even the toughest critics? 😏✨ #SingleAndSlayingIt #FaceOfFlawless"

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

Commentary:
Looks like someone was caught trying to improve their IQ through bumper stickers, only to realize it backfired! 🤓🚗 "I brake for knowledge" may not have been the wisest choice after all! 😆🤦‍♂️ #BumperStickerStruggles