Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

They should invent a day where it all works out.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I had a healthy appendix removed, just to show the other organs that I will not tolerate any bullshit.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Don’t worry, I’m only dead inside from the waist up.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

My role at Thanksgiving dinner is to Blair Witch it alone in the corner.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Sorry, I’m late. I got caught up at home being happy.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Sunday is proof that time travel exists, because it was just Friday.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Of course I intermittently fast. That’s when I sleep.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,504

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

Just shared via Slack:

Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

Making waves on YouTube:

My idea of fun is watching something on the TV while I look at relevant Wikipedia articles on my phone.

Just landed via Threads:

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

Spotted on WeChat:

Will probably never be loved, but I have to send emails, so I can’t really think about that right now.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Crazy to think the average Zoomer male just works, watches porn, and plays video games. That’s it. That’s their whole life.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’m at the age where I can remember things that never happened.

116 Funny self-deprecating quotes

Funny self-deprecating quotes 🤦‍♂️😂 are the secret sauce to celebrating our delightful imperfections with a chuckle. Perfect for those moments when you’re staring at a minor mishap and thinking, “Did I really just do that?” 🙈 Whether you’re laughing at your culinary disasters or your unmatched ability to trip over nothing, these gems remind us that life’s too short to take ourselves too seriously. So, embrace the chaos and giggle through the glorious messiness of being perfectly flawed! 🎉😜

New funny self-deprecating quotes 👇

For even more funny self-deprecating quotes, hit next 👇

All funny self-deprecating quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

The worst part about working from home is that your real husband is also your work husband.

34 shares on Facebook this month:

I remember when Britain used to be so rich, you’d be embarrassed to go into a Lidl or Aldi.

44 shares on Instagram this month:

Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

52 shares on Threads this month:

Sometimes I do random acts of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

44 shares on Discord this month:

Do people who do triathlons know that they don’t have to?

62 shares on Reddit this month:

I get easily confused in the morning. Also in the afternoon and evening.

11 shares on Discord this month:

If I’m not spoken to, my morning grumpiness goes almost unnoticed.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.

81 shares on Telegram this month:

Wednesday is the part of the novel where the heroine stares out the window and questions everything.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The best way to describe this year is to say it feels like a year of Mondays.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m putting free wifi on my gravestone, so people will come visit me.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Microdosing hell by checking the web every day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,570

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I’m on a spinning rock in outer space, and I have to answer work emails.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

I forgot my password, failed the captcha and have been accused of being a robot. I don’t even know how to fight these allegations.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I hate when I’m trying to spell a word, and my phone can’t do it either.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

It’s crazy people waste their time with hobbies and family when there are strangers on the internet who need to be argued with.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Is it too late to reset my life back to factory settings?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

January: the Monday of months.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

“I’m basically the human version of finding $20 in old jeans.”

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

Shared recently on Messenger:

The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

Breaking via YouTube:

Coffee: Because without it I would be a serious danger to society.

Shared recently on Threads:

Hello darkness, my old friend. Why are you here? It’s 6:00 pm.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I look stable, but I talk to animals, and wait for them to reply.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Throwing a spear at your enemy is a bad gamble. If you miss, you have no spear now and he’s just fine. He’s better than fine; now he has a spear.

Trending via Reddit:

Crying while wearing a backpack has unlocked a new level of humiliation I did not know was possible.

Shared recently on TikTok:

We need a slur for people that use AI.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴