49 Funny self-deprecating quotes

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  1 day ago

  Share →: Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

  Commentary:
  "Props to all the laundry basket and dish warriors who thought, 'Why not add dirt and plants to the mix?' 🌿🧺🍽️😂"

• 

  2 days ago

  Share →: I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.

  Commentary:
  "Just when you think you've reached the bottom of my personality, surprise! There's a basement! 😂🤷‍♂️ #PlotTwist #StillWorseThanThat"

• 

  5 days ago

  Share →: Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

  Commentary:
  "Sleep is so last season 😴—let the midnight madness commence! 🤪✈️"

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

  Commentary:
  "Living proof that 'Netflix and chill' can be a lifestyle choice! 📺😂 #NoRegrets"

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

  Commentary:
  "With my DNA all over the place, I'd be caught before the crime is even committed! 🚔🔬😂"

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

  Commentary:
  "Board games really bring out my alter ego: 'Competitive Cathy' 😈🎲 Who knew a simple game of Monopoly could cause inner monster mayhem?" 🤣🏰

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

  Commentary:
  "How about 'dynamic crisis manager'? 🔥🚒😅"

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

  Commentary:
  "When life gives you lemons, be the zesty bad example! 🍋😜"

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

  Commentary:
  "Same here—my taste buds are the real decision-makers! 🍕😂🥨"

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like my leg's a drum soloist while my head's on a 'no headbanging' contract! 🥁😅 #LegLife"

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