19 Funny shop quotes

• Do vape shops and nail salons actually make money, or is my town’s economy one big laundering scheme?

  ---

  6 days ago

  actually, big, economy, laundering, laundering scheme, money, nail, nail salon, salon, scheme, shop, town, vape, vape shop

• My boss denied me a raise before my shift today. What’s some music you have never wanted to hear in a coffee shop?

  ---

  6 days ago

  before, boss, coffee, coffee shop, complaint, denied, hear, humor, me, music, never, raise, shift, shop, today, wanted, work

• If your coffee shop has a passive-aggressive ‘no Wi-Fi, pretend it’s the old days’ sign, I’m gonna smoke in there and pay 50 cents for coffee.

  ---

  6 days ago

  50, coffee, coffee shop, days, humor, old, old days, passive-aggressive, pay, payment, pretend, shop, sign, smoke, Wi-Fi, wifi

• Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

  ---

  6 days ago

  around, ask, awkwardness, customer, humor, indecision, interaction, member, normal, person, shop, shopping, social, social interaction, something, staff, times, walk, works

• If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

  ---

  6 days ago

  broke, childbirth, customer, customer service, emergency, fault, humor, last, last minute, minute, nice, pregnancy, procrastination, retail, retail worker, service, shop, shopping, water, week, worker

• Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

  ---

  6 days ago

  barista, called, coffee, coffee shop, feeling, getting, humor, interaction, love, male, me, mixed, mixed signal, nickname, say, shop, signal, signals, today, upset, yesterday

• Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

  ---

  1 week ago

  awkward, awkward situation, bead, bead curtain, broken, broken leg, curtain, getting, horse, humor, leg, me, put, sex, sex shop, shop, situation, tangled

• The feminine urge to open a coffee shop that’s also a library, a bakery, and a flower shop.

  ---

  1 week ago

  bakery, business, coffee, coffee shop, creative, creative business, feminine, feminine urge, flower, flower shop, humor, library, multitasking, multitasking business, open, shop, small, small business, urge

• Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

  ---

  1 week ago

  activity, actually, clothes, cute, fashion, fun, fun activity, girls, humor, just, round, saying, shop, shopping, touching, walk

• My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

  ---

  1 week ago

  activity, couple, humor, husband, relationship, shop, work, workshop

All funny shop quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌