19 Funny shop quotes

• Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

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  11 hours ago

  bargain, bargain hunting, comparison, deal, deals, designer, designer heel, flight, flight deal, heel, heels, humor, hunting, i, nonstop, people, shop, shopping, travel

• In the coffee shop, booing everyone who orders decaf.

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  22 hours ago

  booing, coffee, coffee shop, decaf, everyone, humor, shop

• Do vape shops and nail salons actually make money, or is my town’s economy one big laundering scheme?

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  2 weeks ago

  actually, big, economy, laundering, laundering scheme, money, nail, nail salon, salon, scheme, shop, town, vape, vape shop

• My boss denied me a raise before my shift today. What’s some music you have never wanted to hear in a coffee shop?

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  3 weeks ago

  before, boss, coffee, coffee shop, complaint, denied, hear, humor, me, music, never, raise, shift, shop, today, wanted, work

• If your coffee shop has a passive-aggressive ‘no Wi-Fi, pretend it’s the old days’ sign, I’m gonna smoke in there and pay 50 cents for coffee.

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  3 weeks ago

  50, coffee, coffee shop, days, humor, old, old days, passive-aggressive, pay, payment, pretend, shop, sign, smoke, Wi-Fi, wifi

• Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

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  3 weeks ago

  around, ask, awkwardness, customer, humor, indecision, interaction, member, normal, person, shop, shopping, social, social interaction, something, staff, times, walk, works

• If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

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  1 month ago

  broke, childbirth, customer, customer service, emergency, fault, humor, last, last minute, minute, nice, pregnancy, procrastination, retail, retail worker, service, shop, shopping, water, week, worker

• Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

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  1 month ago

  barista, called, coffee, coffee shop, feeling, getting, humor, interaction, love, male, me, mixed, mixed signal, nickname, say, shop, signal, signals, today, upset, yesterday

• Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

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  2 months ago

  awkward, awkward situation, bead, bead curtain, broken, broken leg, curtain, getting, horse, humor, leg, me, put, sex, sex shop, shop, situation, tangled

• The feminine urge to open a coffee shop that’s also a library, a bakery, and a flower shop.

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  2 months ago

  bakery, business, coffee, coffee shop, creative, creative business, feminine, feminine urge, flower, flower shop, humor, library, multitasking, multitasking business, open, shop, small, small business, urge

All funny shop quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌