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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Showers are the best places to lose arguments with yourself.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I went to clean bathroom and I’m 99% sure my kids shoot their toothpaste out of a cannon.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Ghosting is actually a sign of great respect in my culture.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Why do boys never buy the Pro Max iPhones? I swear it’s only girls with big phones.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

509 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,102

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,102

Updated

Dec 24, 2025

Users Online

4,035

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.

Spotted on Messenger:

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

Going viral on X:

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

Going viral on Telegram:

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

Live now on Twitch:

Girlhood is sitting down in a boiling hot shower instead of dealing with life.

Shared recently on Discord:

My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.

Going viral on Twitch:

I hope whoever came up with the spelling for Wednesday was punished for their actions.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

Home » Funny Sleep Quotes » Page 2

442 Funny sleep quotes

More funny sleep quotes 👇

When it gets past my bedtime, I get so scared.

0

3 weeks ago

bedtime, fear, humor, i, night, past, scared, sleep
You should be allowed to call out of work if you have a really bad nightmare.

0

3 weeks ago

allowed, bad, call, call out, excuse, humor, nightmare, should, sleep, work
Sex is great, but have you ever had your alarm go off and then realize you don’t have to get up today?

0

4 weeks ago

alarm, day, ever, freedom, great, humor, lazy, lazy day, morning, realize, relaxation, sex, sleep, today
I love how “sleeping in” used to mean noon, and now it means 8:30 a.m.

0

4 weeks ago

am, change, humor, i, lifestyle, love, mean, means, morning, noon, routine, sleep, sleeping, sleeping in, time, used
“I’m at the age where, if I use the wrong pillow at night, it hurts to turn my head the next day.”

0

1 month ago

age, aging, day, discomfort, head, humor, hurts, i, neck, next, night, pain, pillow, sleep, turn, where, wrong
I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

0

1 month ago

body, daily, daily routine, drink, eat, frustration, hate, having, high, humor, i, maintenance, routine, shower, sleep, stupid
Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

0

1 month ago

every, home, house, humor, kitchen, laundry, laundry room, laziness, next, paid, plan, procrastination, rent, room, sleep, week, weekend, weekend plan
iPhone: I’m gonna update your software tonight while you sleep. Next morning, iPhone: I couldn’t do it, bro. Just didn’t feel right. Vibe was off.

0

1 month ago

apology, bro, feel, humor, i, iPhone, just, morning, next, right, sleep, software, technology, tonight, update, vibe, while
My brain at 2 a.m.: “You up?”

0

1 month ago

2, 2 a.m., a.m., am, brain, funny thought, humor, insomnia, late, late night, night, sleep, thought
I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.

0

1 month ago

coming, daily, daily life, getting, going, home, humor, life, procrastination, ready, routine, sleep, thinking, wanting, work

For even more funny sleep quotes, hit next 👇

All funny sleep quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on YouTube this month:

Be gentle with me, I’m from the 1900s.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

Reading a book and coming across a character’s name that you don’t know how to pronounce, so for the rest of the book, every time you see it, your brain just goes ‘skdjfkskakfk.’

20 shares on Reddit this month:

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

100 shares on WeChat this month:

My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

16 shares on Telegram this month:

I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It’s been forty years. It should all be out by now.

85 shares on YouTube this month:

Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: It’s my cholesterol.

76 shares on Discord this month:

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

67 shares on Pinterest this month:

I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.

42 shares on X this month:

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m old enough to remember when FIFA was about kicking balls, not sucking them.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Men be like: I would love the opportunity to give you the bare minimum.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Shark tooth necklaces are the perfect accessory if you want to look tough but also tell the world, “I’ve been to a gift shop.”

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

“I don’t do politics.” Politics will do you, my brother and sister. Politics will do you like mad.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Talking to some people is like folding a fitted sheet.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Nostalgia is mostly dumb nonsense, but movie rental stores were legitimately better than streaming.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

Seen just now on Telegram:

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

Going bananas on X:

I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.

Live now on Telegram:

Screen time on your computer feels like healthy screen time, screen time on your phone feels like evil screen time.

Going viral on Twitch:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Are they honking at me because I’m cute or because I can’t drive.

Making waves on Snapchat:

“My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m sorry if I seem weird, it’s because I am.

Just shared via Reddit:

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

Activity Log ✨

442 Funny sleep quotes

More funny sleep quotes 👇

All funny sleep quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨