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118 Funny start quotes

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5 months ago
Share →: Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

Commentary:
"Imagine the power move of casually dropping 'My battery is at 5%' at the start of every call 📱⚡ Nobody would dare keep you on the line for too long! 😂 #PhoneCallGameStrong"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

Commentary:
"Apparently, the threat of losing access to Twitter is as serious as starting a family for some 🤣 Maybe they should just stick to tweeting and leave procreation out of it! 🐦🚫👶"
5 months ago
Share →: I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's in a news-worthy predicament! 📰💩 Times may be tough, but at least you're catching up on the headlines while you… take care of business. 😆 Hang in there, things will smooth out eventually!"
5 months ago
Share →: Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’

Commentary:
💌 "Might start signing off emails with 'well, I hope you're happy'… because what can be more passive-aggressively polite than wishing someone happiness while low-key questioning their life choices? 😂 Here's to hoping they read between the lines… or emojis!"
5 months ago
Share →: Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

Commentary:
"Ah, the mysterious conversational enigma! Approach with caution, or simply admire from a safe distance 🔮🚫 #IntrovertLife"
5 months ago
Share →: I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

Commentary:
"Who says child labor laws have to be so strict? 😄 Let's harness that youthful energy and put those little geniuses to work! ⏰👧💼 #StartingYoung"
5 months ago
Share →: Google Maps should start screaming the more wrong turns you make.

Commentary:
"Google Maps: 'I said LEFT, not a U-TURN!'U0001F602🗺️ #LostAndFound"
5 months ago
Share →: The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

Commentary:
"Ah, the incredible multitasking genius of the human brain! 🧠 From figuring out complex concepts to navigating social situations, it never fails to impress. But watch out folks, as soon as those butterflies flutter in your stomach, all bets are off! 🦋 Love: 1, Brain: 0. The struggle is real, folks. 😂 #BrainVsLove"
5 months ago
Share →: Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive ability to focus and actually complete a task without getting distracted, a rare trait indeed! 🐿️💨 Let's appreciate those task-finishing unicorns in a world full of multitasking squirrels 🦄🤹‍♂️ Keep your eyes on the prize, not on the acorns flying everywhere! 🌰🤪"
5 months ago
Share →: Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

Commentary:
Oh, those 18th-century bros and their revolutionary ideas! 🧐💬 "Dude, let's totally drop some truths on paper and stir up some trouble!" 🖋️📜 It was the original version of starting a viral tweet storm! 😂 #ThrowbackRevolutionaries