Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

My friends wife threatened to leave him over his Star Wars collectibles and I was like “divorce is strong in this one”.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Sunsets and women are undoubtedly God’s best creations.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Waking up early is cool until it starts feeling like you’ve had a long day at 10 a.m.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Yesterday I really wanted tacos and now I’m eating tacos. Follow your dreams!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

4,051

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that cake is in the fridge.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

Just landed via Threads:

If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

Just shared via Discord:

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

Spotted on WeChat:

Never underestimate the healing power of a grilled cheese sandwich.

Shared recently on Slack:

I had an irrational fear of bees until I saw My Girl and it became rational.

Trending via Telegram:

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

Seen just now on Threads:

My daughter says I’m making it up! Do you remember having to carry a quarter for the payphone, just in case?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Please don’t celebrate April Fool’s day if you’re not a fool. My culture is not your costume.

More funny quotes 👇

I’ve learned the best way to find something that I’ve lost is to buy a replacement one, to make the lost one spontaneously appear.

0

6 days ago

appear, best, buy, finding, humor, irony, item, learned, lesson, life, life lesson, lost, lost item, problem, problem-solving, replacement, solving, something, spontaneous
Not to brag, but my children already knew everything I told them today.

0

6 days ago

brag, child, children, communication, everything, humor, i, irony, knowledge, parenting, today, told
I told my daughter to check her attitude, and she responded, “For complaints about attitude, please contact the manufacturer.”

0

6 days ago

attitude, check, complaint, complaints, contact, daughter, humor, i, manufacturer, parent-child, please, response, told, witty, witty response
What did people do before alarm clocks? Just go to bed like, “Hope I wake up in time for work tomorrow.”

0

6 days ago

alarm, alarm clock, bed, bedtime, before, clock, clocks, hope, humor, i, just, morning, morning routine, people, routine, sleep, time, tomorrow, wake, waking, waking up, work
Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

0

1 week ago

book, book recommendation, books, brain, brain rot, fiction, humor, reading, recommendation, return, rot, self-help, self-help book
Figure skating is so niche that sometimes I walk in the rink, and there’s an Olympic medalist there.

0

1 week ago

figure, figure skating, humor, i, ice, ice rink, joke, medalist, niche, niche sport, Olympic, Olympic medalist, rink, skating, sometimes, sport, sport joke, walk
You ever notice how fans of the worst music always focus on the meanings of the songs instead of the actual music?

0

1 week ago

actual, always, bad, bad music, behavior, criticism, ever, fan, fan behavior, fans, focus, meaning, music, music criticism, music fan, music taste, notice, song, song meaning, songs, taste, worst
I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It’s been forty years. It should all be out by now.

0

1 week ago

aging, am, bathroom, complaint, forty, frustration, going, humor, i, should, sick, time, tired
Turns out, college is all about forming unspoken, powerful bonds with people you talk to twice.

0

1 week ago

bond, college, conversation, forming, friendship, humor, interaction, people, powerful, social, social interaction, talk, twice, unspoken
Rudolph’s bright red nose would not have done anything to improve Santa’s visibility in dense fog.

0

1 week ago

anything, bright, Christmas, done, fog, humor, improve, nose, red, red nose, reindeer, Rudolph, Santa, visibility

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on YouTube this month:

Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

31 shares on Messenger this month:

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

The rainforest cafe won’t be authentic enough for me if they don’t bulldoze 40% of the restaurant while I’m there.

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My girlfriend confided in me she loves when I blow air on her when she’s hot, but honestly, I’m not a fan.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My tapeworm is starting a podcast about the McRib.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

75 shares on Telegram this month:

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why would I want a memory pillow? Sleep is where I go to forget.

84 shares on Telegram this month:

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

“There are lots of benefits to working here. We have fun social events and activities after work!” And what are the benefits?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

That awkward moment when a zombie looking for brains walks right past you.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Self-awareness is such a two-edged sword. Like, yay, I know myself better, but at what cost?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

You guys know your secrets are safe with me. It’s the people I share them with you can’t trust.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Many men also have a walk-in closet. For them, it’s just called a floor.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

No revenge, because to know me only as a memory is to suffer.

Just shared via WeChat:

If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

Freshly posted on Threads:

If I was on Love Island, I would get wasted and drown in the pool, altering the course of every contestant’s life forever.

Breaking via YouTube:

I still can’t believe they named a company GoDaddy.

Making waves on Twitch:

Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

Going bananas on Instagram:

“You’re just mad my gut microbiome is way more diverse and complex than yours.”

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

Going bananas on Pinterest:

The lion does not concern himself at all. The lion is depressed.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨