Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

God ate when he created sleep, what a beautiful concept.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

4,020

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Taking a guy from skinny jeans to linen trousers, that’s my way of giving back to society.

Making waves on Messenger:

Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.

Trending via Snapchat:

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

Trending via YouTube:

“Quit” is not in my vocabulary but “resign”, “drop out”, and “give up” are.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I’m going to need to rewatch Idiocracy to see what happens next.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

Trending via Telegram:

I’m sick of blessings in disguise. I am ready for a blessing with absolutely no disguise whatsoever.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Sorry, can’t go out tonight. My bed told me it needs me, and I can’t let it down.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.

Just shared via Telegram:

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

More funny quotes 👇

Phone dry, no food in the house, I keep dying in my game. I’m such a loser.

0

5 days ago

boredom, dry, dying, food, frustration, game, gaming, house, humor, hunger, i, keep, loser, losing, phone
Nothing ruins an introvert’s day like a 4 p.m. appointment.

0

5 days ago

4, 4 p.m., appointment, day, introvert, nothing, p.m., ruin, ruins
Why do humans need jobs? Why can’t I just exist and make art and chill with my cat?

0

5 days ago

art, cat, chill, exist, existence, human, humans, i, job, jobs, just, need, relaxation, why
Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.

0

5 days ago

business, business motive, care, casino, company, gambling, heal, healing, health, health care, irony, motive, pharmaceutical, pharmaceutical company, skepticism, trust, want, wants, win, winning
Goodnight Outlook, goodnight Teams, goodnight Zoom.

0

5 days ago

call, communication, goodnight, humor, meeting, office, office humor, outlook, remote, remote work, Teams, technology, video, video call, virtual, virtual meeting, work, Zoom
Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

0

5 days ago

basket, carry, carrying, convenience, grocery, grocery store, humor, i, middle, moments, much, overestimate, shopping, should, store, stores
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” is my favorite story about how everyone treats you like shit until they need something from you.

0

5 days ago

Christmas, Christmas story, everyone, favorite, favorite story, humor, hypocrisy, need, red-nosed, Red-Nosed Reindeer, reindeer, Rudolph, sarcasm, selfishness, shit, something, story, treatment, treats
Songs discovered from movies are usually a masterpiece.

0

5 days ago

discovery, humor, masterpiece, movie, song, songs
Born to be a hater, forced to understand your perspective.

0

5 days ago

attitude, born, forced, hater, humor, irony, perspective, understand, understanding
If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

0

5 days ago

broke, childbirth, customer, customer service, emergency, fault, humor, last, last minute, minute, nice, pregnancy, procrastination, retail, retail worker, service, shop, shopping, water, week, worker

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on WeChat this month:

In an alternate universe, the hard way is always learning me.

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Maybe women decided to convince men that beards were sexy because they were sick of cleaning the washbasin after he shaved.

87 shares on Telegram this month:

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m having a bad day. Please send super-cute pics of your credit cards to cheer me up.

50 shares on Telegram this month:

Partying hard on this Friday night, and by partying hard, I mean laying on my bed starfish-style.

84 shares on Threads this month:

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

99 shares on Discord this month:

“What do your tattoos mean?” They mean I can sit still for a long time.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here hating myself.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I don’t understand baby oil. What are we greasing up all those babies for?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

I highly recommend having hobbies, it distracts you from falling in love unnecessarily.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

A 20% discount sounds great until you realize you can’t afford the other 80%

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s okay to run away from the cops if you’re shy.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.

Making waves on Snapchat:

You have to stay up as needlessly late as possible to make the next day as horrible and hard as possible.

Making waves on Facebook:

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

Spotted on YouTube:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

Going viral on Facebook:

Having a pool is so neat. All of your friends are suddenly interested to catch up on the hottest days of the year.

Going viral on Threads:

If you are influenced by influencers, you’re beyond retarded.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

A man’s home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary.

Just shared via Messenger:

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Don’t worry. There is still hope for the summer: the rain should get warmer soon.

Seen just now on Slack:

I asked myself if I was the problem and we said no.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨