Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s: it’s Saturday night so you know what that means, absolutely nothing, go to bed.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Life stopped being real after 2019 anyways.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

If you ghosted me, don’t come back. Maintain that energy, babe. Stay dead.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

“I’m currently not accepting new items on my to-do list.”

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

I’ve come to the conclusion that my guardian angel is very possessive about me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,947

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Damn girl, are you a plate of microwaved leftovers? Because you’re hot on the outside and cold on the inside.

Trending via WeChat:

Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Never trust a man that’s good at flirting. He’s had too much practice.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I like to push myself out of my comfort zone by sometimes sitting on the other end of my sofa.

Making waves on Threads:

I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

Freshly posted on X:

True romantics have made peace with the possibility of lifelong solitude.

Spotted on Twitch:

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

Making waves on Instagram:

Needing to rant and not wanting anyone to know your business is such a crazy combo.

Breaking via Telegram:

I invoiced my boss two extra hours for the dream I had about work last night. I’m considering that overtime.

More funny quotes 👇

No, you don’t understand. This is my special mistake. I keep making it because it is very dear to me, like an old friend.

0

5 months ago

affection, flaw, friend, friendship, humor, i, keep, love, making, me, mistake, old, old friend, personal, personal flaw, repetition, special, special mistake, understand
An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

0

5 months ago

challenge, escape, escape room, game, good, humor, just, luck, mental, mental game, mind, room, thought, thoughts
Guilty pleasure? Why would I ever feel guilty about pleasure.

0

5 months ago

acceptance, ever, feel, guilt, guilty, guilty pleasure, humor, i, pleasure, self, self-acceptance, why
Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

0

5 months ago

casualwear, comfort, every, exist, fashion, house, humor, i, leave, leaving, sweatpant, sweatpants, time, why
Once I matched with a guy and ended up finding out he lived in my neighborhood, so I told him to go outside and scream, and he did. And I heard it.

0

5 months ago

dating, finding, funny story, guy, humor, i, interaction, lived, match, neighbor, neighborhood, once, outside, scream, social, social interaction, story, told
All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.

0

5 months ago

bra, bras, clothing, fashion, humor, need, problem, recall, shopping, strapless, strapless bra, taken, technology
One day my sanity went out for smokes and never came back.

0

5 months ago

absence, addiction, back, came, day, health, humor, loss, mental, mental health, mind, never, sanity, smoke
Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

0

5 months ago

alone, bed, different, discomfort, feels, i, know, last, means, myself, neck, neck pain, night, pain, sleep, spot, weird
Relationship status: the black mold in my shower thinks I’m cute.

0

5 months ago

black, black mold, cute, humor, life, mold, relationship, relationship status, self-deprecation, shower, single, single life, status
Just got revenge on someone who wronged me many, many years ago. Never relax, I’m coming.

0

5 months ago

ago, comeback, coming, got, humor, just, me, never, patience, payback, persistence, relax, revenge, someone, threat, wronged

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Instagram this month:

Waking up early is always beneficial. You just gotta make it past those first 10 minutes of being irritated.

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I can’t wait to hit my 80s & run for Congress.

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Daniel Craig leaving Bond to become Benoit Blanc is one of the best things to ever happen.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.

69 shares on Telegram this month:

If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.

92 shares on Slack this month:

It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

61 shares on YouTube this month:

God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

46 shares on Slack this month:

If you get bitten by a snake and you’re not sure if it was poisonous, simply wait to see if you die or not. That should give you your answer.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nobody lures you into a gingerbread house in the forest anymore.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

If I was on Love Island, I would get wasted and drown in the pool, altering the course of every contestant’s life forever.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Many fruits can be great names… but the real challenge is naming a child after a vegetable….

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

My cat runs a secret cult. I just pay the rent.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

Forget sexy talk. I want breakfast talk. Describe those waffles to me nice and slow.

Trending via Messenger:

I realized being an adult is just feeling too tired to function, and then functioning.

Trending via Slack:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

Live now on Reddit:

I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

Just landed via Messenger:

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

Just landed via Twitch:

To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

You should be allowed to go home early from work if you miss your dog a lot.

Just shared via Telegram:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Do people exist who manage to wash, dry, fold, and put away their laundry in the same day?

Just shared via Snapchat:

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨