346 Funny am quotes

• Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

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  1 week ago

  20, am, anything, cancellation, day, excited, excitement, extra, extra time, finding, free, getting, ground, humor, i, joy, life, management, meeting, minutes, penny, small, small joy, someone, time, time management, unexpected, unexpected free time, work, work life

• Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?

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  1 week ago

  air, airplane, am, box, craving, flying, giant, i, juice, metal, metal box, question, stay, tomato, tomato juice, weird, weird question, why

• No, I am not refreshed from my long weekend. I was reminded that I am not meant to work, but I am trapped in The Machine.

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  1 week ago

  am, feeling, frustration, humor, i, long weekend, machine, meant, refreshed, trapped, weekend, work

• “Stop thinking about it.” Wow, thank you, I am cured. You should write a book.

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  1 week ago

  advice, am, book, cure, frustration, humor, i, sarcasm, should, stop, thank, thinking

• People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

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  1 week ago

  am, day, five-year, five-year plan, forgetfulness, having, here, hoping, humor, i, just, life, life planning, people, plan, planning, plans, remember, waking, waking up

• How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

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  1 week ago

  aid, alphabet, alphabet song, am, childhood, childhood habit, choice, choices, count, counting, decision, decision making, finger, finger counting, fingers, habit, i, learning, learning method, letter, life, life choice, making, memory, memory aid, method, next, sing, song, still, whole

• I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

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  1 week ago

  age, am, back, daily, daily habit, day, every, front, habit, humor, i, newspaper, old, read, reading, single

• Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.

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  1 week ago

  again, am, apology, clueless, confession, doing, happen, having, hell, honesty, humor, i, idea, repetition, self-awareness, sorry

• I wanna marry someone funnier than me, but sadly, I am the funniest.

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  1 week ago

  am, funnier, humor, i, joke, marriage, marry, me, relationship, self-confidence, someone, wit

• Stay up till 4 a.m. one night, and your sleep schedule is ruined for the next 4 years.

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  1 week ago

  4, am, deprivation, exaggeration, humor, insomnia, late, late night, next, night, ruined, schedule, sleep, sleep deprivation, sleep schedule, stay, tiredness

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