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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

These aliens are taking forever.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

I get so flattered when butterflies or bees buzz around me. Like, sorry ladies, I’m not a flower, but it’s so sweet that you thought I was. Hehe.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

After a quick review of my finances, everyone is going to have to be happy with a forehead kiss for Christmas.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

In university, you are either struggling academically, financially, emotionally, or all three.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Remember before social media you would have to pick up the phone and call someone to tell them how much you love bacon?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,607

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Every CVS has its own unique energy that’s powerful enough to exalt or destroy the individual.

Seen just now on Discord:

Good morning to everyone except those who need approval from strangers on the internet.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.

Trending via Slack:

I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.

Spotted on Facebook:

If it was really a smart phone, it would have recognize that it was an ignored call, not missed.

Trending via Instagram:

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I hate finishing a series that I enjoyed, because what now?

Trending via Facebook:

Life isn’t funny, why should my posts be?

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’ve been asked to join a swingers club, but I’m a little nervous. What if I’m not good enough? I haven’t been on a swing since I was 9.

154 Funny anything quotes

More funny anything quotes 👇

God, is there anything worse than when someone wants to show you a video?

1 week ago

annoyance, anything, God, humor, interaction, show, social, social interaction, someone, video, wants, worse
Rudolph’s bright red nose would not have done anything to improve Santa’s visibility in dense fog.

1 week ago

anything, bright, Christmas, done, fog, humor, improve, nose, red, red nose, reindeer, Rudolph, Santa, visibility
Super excited to not contribute anything worthwhile today.

1 week ago

anything, excited, excitement, humor, laziness, procrastination, sarcasm, super, today
I would do absolutely anything to get 8 hours of sleep, except for going to bed 8 hours before I need to wake up.

1 week ago

8, absolutely, anything, bed, bedtime, before, except, exhaustion, going, hours, humor, i, irony, joke, need, procrastination, sleep, tiredness, wake
I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

1 week ago

absolutely, anything, communication, except, excuse, friends, friendship, honesty, humor, i, just, know, loyalty, message, need, procrastination, reply, texting
This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

1 week ago

anything, argue, argument, community, debate, discussion, humor, literally, online, online community, people, site
Not really interested in anything that isn’t everything.

1 week ago

anything, everything, exaggeration, humor, interest, interested, sarcasm
The final level of being smart is just pretending you don’t know anything to make your life easier.

1 week ago

anything, being, cleverness, easier, final, hack, humor, intelligence, just, know, level, life, life hack, pretending, smart
I know it’s bad, and you’ve got to shut it down right away, but is there anything more hilarious than a swearing toddler?

1 week ago

anything, away, bad, bad behavior, behavior, child, child behavior, got, hilarious, humor, i, know, parenting, right, shut, swear, swear word, swearing, swearing toddler, toddler, word
Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

1 week ago

20, am, anything, cancellation, day, excited, excitement, extra, extra time, finding, free, getting, ground, humor, i, joy, life, management, meeting, minutes, penny, small, small joy, someone, time, time management, unexpected, unexpected free time, work, work life

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All funny anything quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Telegram this month:

Do I need to have seen the Tokyo Olympics in order to understand the Paris ones?

49 shares on Telegram this month:

Imagine not sleeping with plushies. You guys are gonna get eaten by monsters.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

This year for Thanksgiving, I’ll probably bring what I brought last year… shame upon the family.

52 shares on Messenger this month:

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

63 shares on Discord this month:

I’m not worried about WWIII. I’ve been feeding a crow army for three years.

88 shares on X this month:

My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

38 shares on Threads this month:

Ever since I turned 20, someone is always in Japan or Italy. Is it like this forever?

42 shares on Facebook this month:

Wake up, there’s overthinking to be done.

87 shares on Slack this month:

If you ever find yourself as a houseguest for an extended period of time, here is the golden rule for success: invisible by day, charming by night.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

You want me to pay attention to the details? The thing the devil is in?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

I think I can now safely say that none of my co-workers were “personality hires”.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I remember when Britain used to be so rich, you’d be embarrassed to go into a Lidl or Aldi.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

You will give your period 50 acres of prime pad, and it will still choose to encroach on your underwear.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Picking up a hitchhiker is not worth the risk of being forced to make small talk with a stranger.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

You only realize how heavy your handbag really is when your car tells you that your passenger is not wearing a seatbelt.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Threads:

Started from the bottom and I’m still ain’t shit.

Going bananas on Instagram:

The lion can’t keep living like this.

Making waves on Facebook:

I don’t assume anything except the fetal position.

Live now on Slack:

I wish I could get a bouquet of mozzarella sticks.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The “-ification” essay pandemic.

Making waves on Slack:

Don’t throw a relationship away just because you don’t agree with their choices, unless they wear Crocs, then it’s okay.

Shared recently on Slack:

Jeans have the tendency of looking neat when you’re about to wash them.

Trending via Instagram:

Ok, I cheated in school, but I did it the hard way and without AI.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Why does Bruce Wayne, the billionaire, not simply rig Gotham City’s elections in favor of tough-on-crime candidates?

Live now on Instagram:

Some people post such depressing love shit that I start to miss their exes myself!

Activity Log ✨

154 Funny anything quotes

More funny anything quotes 👇

All funny anything quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨