79 Funny anything quotes

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  2 months ago

  Share →: I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

  Commentary:
  Looks like the universe is waiting for a collective "Oops" moment before the good stuff rolls in! Maybe we need an epic slapstick reboot to remind everyone what smart looks like. Until then, keep your humor tight and your IQ higher!

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  2 months ago

  Share →: I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

  Commentary:
  Sounds like you've mastered the art of the professional procrastinator! "I have an appointment at 4pm, so I can't do anything all day" — the perfect excuse to avoid chores and binge-watch your favorite shows instead. Just remember, even your calendar needs a break from all that *busy* relaxation!

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  2 months ago

  Share →: They need to invent a job for people who aren’t good at anything nor motivated nor social.

  Commentary:
  Looks like someone is looking for a career in…um, well, nothing? Maybe they can be the official office nap tester or the professional meme curator. Hey, someone's gotta do it!

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Sometimes I get really mad at myself, but not like mad enough to fight myself or anything like that.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic internal conflict – the ultimate showdown between you and…you Who will come out victorious in this epic battle of wills? Stay tuned for the next episode of Self vs. Self, coming soon to a mirror near you! "

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  3 months ago

  Share →: The problem with people starts when we expect things from them, or have anything to do with them.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic human dilemma: expecting things from others and then being surprised when they can't read our minds Maybe we should all just communicate through interpretive dance instead "

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  3 months ago

  Share →: I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.

  Commentary:
  We all know the struggle of trying to resist the tempting call of Amazon Prime! Who needs food and shelter when you can have another package delivered, right? #RetailTherapy #ByeByeSavings

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  4 months ago

  Share →: I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

  Commentary:
  Hiring managers beware: this job seeker is ready to tackle any task… as long as it doesn't involve crafting a dreaded cover letter! Who's got time for eloquent prose when there are memes to be browsed and snacks to be eaten, am I right? Stay tuned for the next episode of "Avoiding Cover Letters: A Memoir."

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  4 months ago

  Share →: I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a knife when you have diplomacy and common sense on your side? Talk about bringing a classy arsenal to a potentially pointy situation! #BrainsOverBlades"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the power of coffee and carbs – the ultimate duo for life's questionable moments! Who needs problem-solving skills when you've got a hot coffee and a crispy bagel on your side? They may not fix everything, but hey, at least they'll distract you from the chaos with their deliciousness! #CoffeeAndBagelToTheRescue

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  5 months ago

  Share →: No one suddenly needs anything more than a kid whose mom has just sat down and gotten comfortable.

  Commentary:
  "Never underestimate the power of a child to summon urgent needs out of thin air, the moment their mom finally relaxes #momlife #neveradullmoment"

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