Funny benefit quotes

• Every time you give someone the benefit, they deliver the doubt.

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  1 month ago

  benefit, cynicism, doubt, every, expectations, give, humor, irony, relationships, someone, time, trust

• “There are lots of benefits to working here. We have fun social events and activities after work!” And what are the benefits?

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  1 month ago

  activity, after, after work, benefit, event, fun, here, social, social event, work, working

• I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

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  1 month ago

  benefit, comeback, dance, dance move, enjoy, enjoyment, glass, glasses, health, health benefit, humor, i, move, moves, night, night routine, routine, wine, witty, witty comeback

• I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

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  1 month ago

  beautiful, benefit, boat, friend, friends, friendship, fun, home, homes, i, leisure, looking, luxury, mean, pool, pools, summer, vacation, vacation home

• Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

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  1 month ago

  always, benefit, brain, brains, brainwashing, horrible, terrible, wash

• Waking up early is always beneficial. You just gotta make it past those first 10 minutes of being irritated.

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  3 months ago

  always, being, benefit, early, humor, irritation, just, minutes, mood, morning, past, waking, waking up

• One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

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  3 months ago

  another, around, benefit, benefits, cat, confusion, creature, having, hear, middle, most, night, noise, pet, random, underrated

• Coolest part about starting a new job is the immunity to disease you get for 3 months till you get sick days.

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  4 months ago

  3, benefit, day, days, disease, health, humor, immunity, job, job benefit, life, months, new, new job, office, office humor, sick, sick day, starting, work, work life

• Sometimes I watch people do their jobs, and I’m like, damn, you might benefit from a little imposter syndrome, actually.

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  4 months ago

  actually, benefit, humor, i, imposter, imposter syndrome, job, jobs, little, observation, people, self-doubt, sometimes, syndrome, watch, work

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