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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Next on Tiny Houses: A family of 6 moves into a boat emoji.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I have this rare skin disease called perfect.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Ummmm, no, I don’t watch ‘Instagram Reels.’ I have TikTok. I like to get my brain damage directly from the original source.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Dec 30, 2025

3,651

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

Oh, you’re extending your sale? Your Black Friday sale that ended on Tuesday? You’re extending it?

Just shared via Threads:

New year update: losing everything but weight.

Going viral on YouTube:

With great power comes a huge electric bill.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Twitter is like attaching a message to a balloon, hoping that the right person somehow finds and reads it.

Just landed via Messenger:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

Spotted on X:

Being bilingual means stuttering in both languages.

Spotted on Telegram:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

Trending via Discord:

They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I want to learn scuba diving but I’m terrified of the orchestral music in underwater documentaries.

55 Funny breakfast quotes

Funny breakfast quotes are here to add a dash of humor to your morning routine! 🍳😂 From witty remarks about the joy of starting the day with your favorite meal to playful jabs at early morning habits, these quotes celebrate breakfast in a light-hearted way. Whether you’re a fan of pancakes, eggs, or just coffee, these funny breakfast quotes will make your mornings a little brighter and a lot more amusing. Enjoy the laughter and your breakfast! 🥓☕

New funny breakfast quotes 👇

Some days you have breakfast for dinner and live life on your own terms.

0

3 weeks ago

breakfast, days, dinner, food, freedom, fun, humor, life, lifestyle, live, living, meal, own, terms
Had some plain yogurt with protein powder in it for breakfast, and not only is it high in protein and very filling, it’s also disgusting.

0

2 months ago

breakfast, disgusting, eating, filling, food, healthy, healthy eating, high, high protein, only, plain, powder, protein, protein powder, taste, yogurt
I know breakfastless behavior when I see it.

0

2 months ago

behavior, breakfast, humor, hunger, i, know, mood, morning
I don’t understand people who forget to eat. I’m already planning lunch while chewing breakfast.

0

2 months ago

appetite, breakfast, chewing, daily, daily routine, eat, eating, food, forget, forgetfulness, humor, humor quote, i, lunch, meal, meal planning, people, planning, routine, understand, while
People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.

0

2 months ago

before, breakfast, cook, cooking, going, humor, mature, maturity, me, morning, morning routine, people, routine, too, work
You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

0

2 months ago

ask, breakfast, coffee, conversation, daily, daily routine, eating, girl, humor, i, routine, say
Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

0

2 months ago

bed, breakfast, current, humor, laziness, lying, manifest, morning, relaxing, situation, trying
I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

0

2 months ago

breakfast, eats, every, fitness, goal, grapefruit, half, happiness, happy, health, humor, i, irony, kind, lifestyle, morning, motivation, person, runs, self-improvement, want
My body snaps, crackles, and pops louder than my cereal.

0

2 months ago

aging, body, body noise, breakfast, cereal, crackle, humor, joke, louder, noise, playful, pop, snaps
If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

0

2 months ago

breakfast, cat, cats, coffee, domestication, early, getting, going, humor, insist, learn, me, mornings, pet, sarcasm, upon, waking, waking up

For even more funny breakfast quotes, hit next 👇

All funny breakfast quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Threads this month:

I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The world is such a beautiful place when you don’t think too hard about it or look around.

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

41 shares on TikTok this month:

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

85 shares on Threads this month:

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

15 shares on Reddit this month:

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

91 shares on Threads this month:

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

31 shares on WeChat this month:

Forget the alarm clock. Just give me the smell of bacon and coffee.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m never more unattractive than when a bee flies in my face.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

After careful consideration, I think I’d have way more fun if I was incredibly stupid.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Ears are great for tucking your hair behind in the wind. Big shout out to ears.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so foggy outside. Y’all gotta stop vaping.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m about to start telling people, “As long as that makes sense to you,” when they say shit that doesn’t make sense to me.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Thinking of starting a religion around cheese.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,002

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

My brain has too many tabs open and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

You ever tried driving the speed limit and thought, “They can’t be serious.”

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

It’s comical when I lean back in my chair only to realize it’s a stool.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

House sitting for friends while they’re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

I must retire to my chambers about this.

Making waves on Messenger:

In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.

Just landed via YouTube:

Why trust atoms? Because they’ve never been caught fibbing, just fission.

Freshly posted on Discord:

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

Trending via Messenger:

You have 8 hours remaining to create shareholder value.

Just landed via TikTok:

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

Making waves on Discord:

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Women are actually very understanding if you’re honest with them, especially if they like you. You don’t even have to do all that lying.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I wish I could be as excited about being awake as my dog is about me being awake.

Breaking via Reddit:

Movies in the 80s had me convinced that a main part of being a grown-up was staying late at the office and eating Chinese takeout.

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