15 Funny calorie quotes

• December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

  ---

  0

  2 weeks ago

  calorie, count, December, diet, eating, festive, food, holiday, humor, indulgence, law

• Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  1900s, accidentally, calorie, calorie deficit, deficit, diet, everyone, food, humor, i, knows, loss, mistake, old fashioned, old-fashioned phrase, phrase, said, weight, weight loss

• If small talk burned calories, maybe I’d consider it.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  calorie, consider, conversation, fitness, humor, ID, interaction, maybe, small, small talk, social, social interaction, talk

• I wonder how many calories I can burn petting my cat.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  burn, calorie, cat, exercise, fitness, humor, i, pet, petting, relaxation, wonder

• Whatever happened calorically this weekend can never happen again.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  again, calorie, diet, food, happen, humor, indulgence, never, resolution, weekend, whatever

• Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  activity, avoid, avoiding, avoiding someone, awkwardness, burn, calorie, calorie burn, exercise, exercise humor, funny activity, humor, i, just, know, social, social awkwardness, someone, trying, Walmart

• I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  burning, calorie, calorie burning, eye, eye rolling, eyes, fitness, fitness joke, humor, i, joke, rolling, sarcastic, sarcastic humor, wish

• How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  apple, Apple Watch, audible, audible sigh, burn, calorie, credit, exercise, fitness, humor, i, me, sarcasm, self-awareness, sigh, technology, think, watch

• If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  burn, burn calorie, calorie, enough, exercise, head, humor, media, scroll, scrolling, shake, shake head, shaking, social, social media, too, Twitter

• Every homemade dinner counts as negative calories because of the exercise we get waving pillows at the smoke detectors.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  activity, calorie, cooking, cooking humor, detector, dinner, every, exercise, fun, fun activity, homemade, humor, negative, negative calorie, pillow, smoke, smoke detector

All funny calorie quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌