31 Funny company quotes — Wordgag ツ

Got a job rejection, saw the company post the same job again, so I applied again. I decide when we’re done.

7 days ago7 days ago

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

1 month ago1 month ago

AI could never steal company time the way I do.

1 month ago1 month ago

Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that’s not fully sealed at the bottom?

2 months ago2 months ago

Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Linda.

2 months ago2 months ago

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

2 months ago2 months ago

Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

2 months ago2 months ago

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

2 months ago2 months ago

If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

4 months ago4 months ago

The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

6 months ago6 months ago

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

6 months ago

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

6 months ago

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

Mar 7, 2025Mar 7, 2025

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

Feb 1, 2025Feb 1, 2025

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

Jan 26, 2025

Cover letters are so embarrassing. Why am I writing a love letter to this shitty company?

Jan 26, 2025

There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.

Jan 26, 2025

Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

Jan 26, 2025

Companies post open positions online and then ask you why you applied to them.

Jan 25, 2025

I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

Jan 24, 2025