Funny quotes company

22 Funny company quotes

The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

1 month ago

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

1 month ago

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

1 month ago

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

2 months ago

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

3 months ago

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

3 months ago

Cover letters are so embarrassing. Why am I writing a love letter to this shitty company?

3 months ago

There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.

3 months ago

Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

3 months ago

Companies post open positions online and then ask you why you applied to them.

3 months ago

I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

3 months ago

Actually, you’re having a conversation with yourself. I’m just here so you don’t appear totally insane.

3 months ago

I have never seen an alcohol company using a drunk person for any advertising, are they ashamed of their customers?

3 months ago

Applying for jobs sometimes is wild, like how am I supposed to be passionate about a company I don’t even work for yet?

3 months ago

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

3 months ago

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

3 months ago

Candy companies will look you straight in the eye and lie about how they know what a banana tastes like.

3 months ago

My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

3 months ago

Hey cell phone companies who play smooth jazz hold music hoping I’ll lose interest and give up: yeah, it’s kinda working.

3 months ago

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

3 months ago