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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

It took three employees to help me complete “self-checkout” yesterday.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

My husband asked me if he had any annoying habits then got offended during the PowerPoint presentation.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Laxatives help you live up to your full pooptential.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

If you put a pizza on top of a pizza, you have two pizzas. But if you stack two lasagnas, then you still have one lasagna.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Weddings should have a worst man.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Women don’t apologize. They sleep naked and let you decide whether you are still angry or not.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,682

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

My handwriting got like five different fonts, depends on my mood and the pen I’m using.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.

Shared recently on Discord:

If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

Making waves on Snapchat:

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

Just shared via WeChat:

Women will be like “I know a spot,” and then take you directly to hell.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Most earthquakes could have been an email.

Breaking via YouTube:

God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

Making waves on Twitch:

I’m going to be a printer today and just not work.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

They call it a coffin because they’re finally coughing up that inheritance.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

42 Funny existence quotes

Funny existence quotes bring a hilarious twist to life’s biggest mysteries 🤪✨ They remind us that sometimes, the best way to deal with the chaos is to laugh at it 😂🌪️ Whether you’re feeling deep, confused, or just in need of a chuckle, these witty words will brighten your day and keep existence entertaining 😎💫

New funny existence quotes 👇

For even more funny existence quotes, hit next 👇

All funny existence quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Reddit this month:

My girlfriend? You wouldn’t know her, she’s in a different data center.

99 shares on Reddit this month:

People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

35 shares on Twitch this month:

Witnessing karma is awesome . . . witnessing instant karma is more awesome.

20 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s so embarrassing when attention seekers feel the need to tell everybody it’s their birthday in, like, every conversation, which, for me, would be today, by the way.

42 shares on Messenger this month:

I poked your tweet with a stick, hoping it would do something.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.

50 shares on Telegram this month:

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

53 shares on TikTok this month:

Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

97 shares on Slack this month:

The art of letting whoever think whatever.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I have no idea how dishwasher tablets work. I’ve already taken five of them, and I still don’t feel like doing the dishes!

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Note to self: Very important! First hang up, then insult.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

There are risks you take when camping: severe weather, wild animals, someone bringing an acoustic guitar.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today, I need to be chased through the woods by a machete-wielding maniac.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m tired of pretending talking about the weather isn’t fun.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll find a cell mate before I’ll ever find a soulmate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,998

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

After a vacation, I usually return to work with a fresh, reenergized hatred for my job.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasn’t shot on my street.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

I’m at the age where I understand that paying a little extra for convenience and comfort is absolutely okay.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

My parents grew to like my girlfriend so much, they take her as their own daughter. Now they started looking for a proper boyfriend for her.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via X:

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

Going bananas on Slack:

Adulting’s a total scam. Bills, taxes, and a laundry pile that breeds in the dark, were not in the brochure!

Spotted on YouTube:

My birth year getting a lil too far on those lil scroll lists. I don’t like that.

Breaking via Slack:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Making waves on Telegram:

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

Spotted on TikTok:

Being called ‘my love’ is probably the cutest thing, like yes, that’s me. I’m the one you love. I’m the only one you love. I’m your love. Say it again.

Live now on Slack:

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

Freshly posted on Slack:

The 80s were wild, man. You had bands naming themselves after predatory cats with hearing problems.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

Broadcasted on Discord:

“Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

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