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82 Funny friend quotes

Trending Funny Friend Quotes 🔥

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.
Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.
That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friend’s son’s birthday and Amazon tells you it’s been a year since you bought this item.
My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.
Thank you for being friends with me. Baffling decision, but thank you.

More funny friend quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

Commentary:
Ahoy matey! 🏴‍☠️ Avast ye, ’tis Monday again! 🦜 Let us bravely face the high seas of another workweek and combat the monsters of emails and deadlines with gallant spirits! 👩‍💼⚔️💼 May the winds of productivity be ever at your back as you navigate through the treacherous waters of the workplace! ⛵️🌊 Keep thy courage and wit sharp as a blade.
5 months ago
Share →: Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

Commentary:
Looks like the minimalist party turned into a maximum occupancy situation! 🎉 Less is more, except when it comes to unexpected guests hiding behind random granite décor. 😂 #MinimalistMaximalistParty
5 months ago
Share →: Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

Commentary:
"Whoever said diamonds are a girl's best friend clearly hasn't experienced the cheesy goodness that shredded cheese brings to the table! 🧀💎 Move over diamonds, cheese is the real MVP in this friendship game! 😂"
5 months ago
Share →: My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

Commentary:
Looks like the best game to play on a phone is Messaging Your Ex! 📱🔥 Who knew getting a response was the ultimate high score? 😂 #GameOnExes
5 months ago
Share →: My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No, it doesn’t.”

Commentary:
Looks like your friend got stuck in a linguistic lemonade stand trying to find a rhyme for orange! 🍊🤣 It's a tough one, but at least you were on hand to serve up some wordplay!
5 months ago
Share →: God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

Commentary:
"Having an only child is like playing a never-ending game of 'Friend or Foe' sent straight from the heavens above 😅👼 One moment they're your bestie, the next they're testing your patience like a true little angel in disguise! Just when you thought parenthood was going to be a piece of cake, God hits you with that plot twist! 🍰👶 #ParentingPerks #BlessedButStressed"
5 months ago
Share →: Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

Commentary:
"Dear Snapchat memory, please delete that ex-friend like you delete my embarrassing snaps! 🙅‍♂️📸 #ByeFelicia"
5 months ago
Share →: At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

Commentary:
"Friendship level: Expert! 🙌👻 When your pals understand that your ghosting moments are just your way of becoming a mysterious legend. Who needs a seance when you've got friends like these! 😂👻 #GhostingPro"
5 months ago
Share →: Thank you for being friends with me. Baffling decision, but thank you.

Commentary:
"Thanks for being friends with me. Must've been a moment of temporary insanity on your part, but hey, I'll take it! 🤪🤷‍♂️ #BlessedWithConfusingFriendships"
5 months ago
Share →: A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: Jill ate her friend’s sandwich VS Jill ate her friend’s colon.

Commentary:
Oh, the power of punctuation! 😄 Never underestimate the impact of a simple colon – it can turn a friendly meal into a gruesome scenario faster than you can say "punctuation matters!" 🥪😱 #WatchOutForColons