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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

I’m not deleting my Twitter, I was here before Elon.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I think I’ma end the year with a plot twist, everyone hold on tight.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Couldn’t afford a man cave. Had to settle for a gazebro.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I don’t understand people who don’t have kids. Imagine having absolutely nobody to blame when you’re late.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

If ads were a person, it would be that one neighbor who won’t stop talking to you at the most inconvenient of times.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,953

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,953

25 minutes ago

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

Seen just now on Slack:

He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

Just landed via Threads:

Why do birds love going apeshit first thing in the morning?

Trending via Telegram:

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

Just shared via Snapchat:

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’m sorry your man wears his sunglasses on the back of his head.

Just landed via Facebook:

A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

Making waves on TikTok:

Moms will vacuum the ceiling, alphabetize the spice rack, reorganize your socks, then say, “No one helps me around here!”

Just shared via Twitch:

Cows are very calm, considering the whole floor is food to them.

Going viral on Facebook:

Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like “Ughhh, make me longer!”

Home » Funny Holding Quotes

21 Funny holding quotes

Funny holding quotes bring a smile to those moments when patience is tested ⏳😂 Whether you’re stuck in a never-ending phone queue or waiting for that perfect pizza delivery 🍕⏰, these witty lines turn frustration into laughter. Ready to embrace the art of holding with humor? Let’s dive into some hilarious gems that prove good things come to those who wait—and laugh along the way! 😄🎉

New funny holding quotes 👇

6 days ago
Share →: My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

Commentary:
Story of my life—it's a real skill losing things while still holding them! 🙈📱🕵️‍♂️
2 weeks ago
Share →: Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Commentary:
"When your brain's giving you anxiety and your stomach's giving you… something else. 💭💨 #MindFarts"
3 weeks ago
Share →: Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

Commentary:
"When the baby treats you like yesterday's news! 😂👶💔"
2 months ago
Share →: Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Commentary:
"When life hands you a meteor, give birth to a T-Rex! 🦖💨😂"
3 months ago
Share →: I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.

Commentary:
"Let 'em rip! No need to let those fart jokes ferment any longer! 💨😂"
5 months ago
Share →: Holding it together with duct tape and sarcasm.

Commentary:
"Life motto: Holding it together with duct tape and sarcasm! 😂🔧 Who needs fancy tools when you have the power of makeshift fixes and witty comebacks? 💪😜 Keep calm and meme on, folks! 🤣 #LifeHacks #SarcasticSolutions"
5 months ago
Share →: Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

Commentary:
"Your honor, I just wanted a hug, not a sentence! 😆⚖️ #LegalLaughter"
6 months ago
Share →: How about hold me as tight as you’re holding onto that grudge?

Commentary:
"Looks like you'll need to squeeze as firmly as your resentment for that one! 🤗🔒 Let's hope the hug ends up being more comforting than the grudge. 😉🤗"
6 months ago
Share →: At least 80% of my day is spent holding back my inappropriate thoughts.

Commentary:
"Trying to navigate through the day like a pro at the 'Inappropriate Thoughts Olympics' 🏅. Who knew that suppressing 80% of your inner comedian would be considered a full-time job? 😂 #KeepingItPG #MasterOfRestraint"
6 months ago
Share →: Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

Commentary:
Resisting the urge to let those zingers fly is basically a full-body workout for your self-control muscles! 💪😂 Remember, sarcasm is just one more service we offer here at the "Snarky Comments Gym." Keep flexing those inner strength muscles, champ! 💬🏋️‍♂️

For even more funny holding quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny holding quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,953

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,953

25 minutes ago

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be turning you into a poem.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok,” yeah, well, I wipe away the hours conversing with the flowers.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

I’m so bored of being bored because being bored is really boring.

Breaking via Instagram:

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

Breaking via Twitch:

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

Making waves on Messenger:

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

When is this robot army coming to take my job?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Whenever I’m not eating a breakfast sandwich I wish I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Trending via LinkedIn:

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

Going viral on WeChat:

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

Reported on Telegram:

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Boss: You’ll never find another job like this. Me: That’d be great.

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