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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Shoutout to drug dealers for teaching the metric system to Americans.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Everyone’s an empath until I need to borrow some cash.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment between birth and death.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Steve Jobs was a vibe coder. He just prompted Steve Wozniak.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I can relate to America, because I too am about to enter a depression.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

I have three full closets of nothing to wear.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,952

Funny Quotes Topics

14,756

Funny Quotes Images

11,952

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

Just landed via Messenger:

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

Spotted on YouTube:

Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I don’t simply want to kill a mosquito; I want to bite them back over and over to make them itch.

Trending via Facebook:

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

Making waves on Slack:

Started from the bottom, now we a little bit above the bottom.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

Shared recently on X:

I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

Going viral on Telegram:

The night terrors don’t scare me half as much as the day terrors.

Just shared via Telegram:

I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Home » Funny Hours Quotes » Page 2

82 Funny hours quotes

More funny hours quotes 👇

4 days ago
Share →: Book reviews be like: “5 stars. I’m sobbing. I’m unwell. I haven’t eaten in 16 hours. Highly recommend.”

Commentary:
Sending this book to my therapist because clearly, it's causing emotional damage 😂📚💔
5 days ago
Share →: There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

Commentary:
Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination! 🤷‍♂️🛋️⏰
2 weeks ago
Share →: Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic bedtime routine: close eyes, open apps! 😴📱📚
2 weeks ago
Share →: “I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok,” yeah, well, I wipe away the hours conversing with the flowers.

Commentary:
Talking to flowers? At least they won’t talk behind your petals! 🌻🗣️🌼
2 weeks ago
Share →: Just because the deodorant says 48 hrs, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Commentary:
"48 hours? Talk about living on the edge… or maybe the nose! 😅👃#LivingDangerously #SmellYouLater"
4 weeks ago
Share →: Me, as a vampire: Tell me, mortal, have you had any alcohol in the last 24 hours?

Commentary:
"Me at 2 AM asking for 'drink preferences' 😂🥂 #VampireBartender"
4 weeks ago
Share →: I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

Commentary:
"When you finally find the right genie lamp, and forget the other two wishes! 🧞‍♂️⏰💊😂"
4 weeks ago
Share →: After overthinking about it for 6 hours, I have decided that it’s actually not that big of a deal.

Commentary:
"Spent 6 hours in a serious 'think tank' only to realize I was just fishing in a puddle! 🧠🤔🐟😂"
1 month ago
Share →: Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

Commentary:
"Sounds like my morning routine agrees: rise and shine… eventually! ⏰☕😴"
1 month ago
Share →: “I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

Commentary:
"Just give me a day and I'll start picking out curtains! 😂🏠✈️"

For even more funny hours quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny hours quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

And for my next trick, I will appear to know what I’m doing.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

“So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Everyone thinks they’re brave right up until a goose starts chasing them.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

I think I’ma end the year with a plot twist, everyone hold on tight.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

British people never go downstairs; they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Shoutout to drug dealers for teaching the metric system to Americans.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

There’s nothing more satisfying than the little nap you have after hitting snooze on your alarm.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!

Seen just now on Messenger:

People keep wishing January was over like the worst month of the year isn’t coming up next. Thats like wishing someone would stop arguing with you and just punch you in the face.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

Just landed via X:

Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

Live now on Messenger:

Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

Just shared via Messenger:

All women want is to consistently annoy one handsome man forever.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I’d grow up to be a weird freak.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

Reported on Discord:

Too young to retire, too poor to quit and too fat to strip – so let’s move on.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

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Activity Log ✨

82 Funny hours quotes

More funny hours quotes 👇

For even more funny hours quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny hours quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

Nobody is busier than a woman who isn’t into you.

If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

Tired of being the responsible adult. When can I become the irresponsible adult?

Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

I come from a family of failed magicians. I have two half sisters.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

Normalize throwing lamps at people who need to lighten up.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

Thanks to rice cakes, I still can’t imagine nothingness, but now I know what it tastes like.

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

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