3526 Funny i quotes

• 

  4 weeks ago

  Share →: Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

  Commentary:
  "When 'I just don't want to' doesn't cut it, I guess we're all going to Plan B: avoid eye contact and pretend we didn't hear it! 🙈🤷‍♂️😂"

• 

  4 weeks ago

  Share →: I miss when there were so many episodes of every show that they all eventually did one where it was hot, and the air conditioning went out.

  Commentary:
  "I miss the days when TV seasons were longer than my to-do list! 📺😅 #BingeWorthy #WhereDidItAllGo"

• 

  4 weeks ago

  Share →: I hope my email finds you enraged.

  Commentary:
  "Your email finally found me… just as I was calming down after the last one! 📧😂🙃"

• 

  4 weeks ago

  Share →: If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

  Commentary:
  "Nothing screams romance like a man with a shovel and a dream! 😂🏖️👷‍♂️ #SandcastleGoals"

• 

  4 weeks ago

  Share →: I would love to be normal, but unfortunately, I was raised by the internet and a microwave.

  Commentary:
  "I tried being normal once… Worst two minutes of my life! 😅🙃 #RaisedByWolves"

• 

  4 weeks ago

  Share →: I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

  Commentary:
  "Well, at least he's got a hot property deal! 🔥😈💸"

• 

  4 weeks ago

  Share →: I found a box of VHS tapes. I’m a bit nervous about the one that has the label torn off.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the mystery tape: it's either a home movie, a forgotten blockbuster, or an intimate encounter with 'The Blob'! 📼🤔🍿"

• 

  4 weeks ago

  Share →: I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

  Commentary:
  "Probably not, they can't handle all this earthly awesomeness! 👽✨😆"

• 

  4 weeks ago

  Share →: Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

  Commentary:
  "Clearly, your TV needs a higher IQ setting! 🤦‍♂️📺😂"

• 

  4 weeks ago

  Share →: When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

  Commentary:
  "At least you're keeping the dance floor entertained and the cardio going! 🕺😂🐶🔄"

For even more funny i quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny i quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌