Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

Commentary:
"Playing golf is like a crash course in profanity linguistics… Your subconscious really lets loose with a creative vocabulary on the fairway! 🤬⛳️ #SwingAndSwear #GolfHumor"
6 months ago
Share →: I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

Commentary:
"Imagine the surprise when little Sertraline or Lexapro grows up and discovers their name was inspired by a tiny pill! 😂 Talk about a prescription for uniqueness! 💊👶 #PharmaBabyNames"
6 months ago
Share →: My retirement plan is recording a hit Christmas song. I just need to learn how to sing and write music.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's banking on their vocal talents to sleigh the retirement game! 🎤🎅 Who needs a 401(k) when you've got jingle bells and high notes to back you up? 🎶😄 #RockinAroundTheRetirementPlan"
6 months ago
Share →: Called in, “I can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

Commentary:
🎶🪗 Ah, the age-old dilemma: mastering the accordion or showcasing your new talent at work? Remember, nothing charms coworkers more than the unexpected serenade of an accordion during meetings! Your call… but we're just saying, the office could use a little more *oom-pah-pah*! 😄🎵
6 months ago
Share →: Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

Commentary:
"Ah, the glorious invention of noise-canceling headphones – a true game changer for parents everywhere dodging those questionable music recitals at home. 🎧🎶 It's like hitting the mute button on your kid's musical ambitions while still looking like a supportive parent! 😂 #ParentingHack"
6 months ago
Share →: The first thing you learn to draw in art school is money from your parents bank account.

Commentary:
Ah, the timeless tradition of mastering the fine art of withdrawing funds from the Bank of Mom and Dad before diving into the world of creativity! 💸🎨 Remember, every masterpiece begins with a generous brushstroke of financial support! 😉 #ArtSchoolStruggles
6 months ago
Share →: People at the library need to learn how to be quiet. Some of us are trying to beatbox over here.

Commentary:
"Shhh…the library isn't ready for these sick beats! 🤫🎤 Let's keep the quiet quirkiness and the boom bap separate, folks. Or maybe we can start a new trend: Beatboxing in the Biblioteca! 🎧📚 #QuietPlease #BeatsNotBooks"
6 months ago
Share →: Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

Commentary:
"Don't stress over your mishaps, just shift the blame to those sneaky planets! Who knew Mercury's retrograde could be so impactful? 🌌😂 Embrace astrology and watch your responsibilities align with the stars! ⭐️🪐 #BlameThePlanets"
6 months ago
Share →: I use subtitles so if I learn anything interesting I can say “I was reading about” instead of “I saw on an episode of Love Island”

Commentary:
"Using subtitles not only enhances your language skills but also upgrades your intellectual repartee level! 📺📚 Who knew Love Island could be a source of enlightenment? Keep impressing everyone with your 'I was reading about' moments! 🤓✨"
6 months ago
Share →: I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”

Commentary:
Ah, the harsh reality of marriage – it's not all sabbaticals and relaxation! 🤣 Looks like someone didn't get the memo that "for better or for worse" includes vacation time! 💔 #MarriageStruggles #SabbaticalDenied