119 Funny little quotes

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I don’t get it when people say they are only a “little” angry, I am either not mad or will kill you.

  Commentary:
  "Whoever came up with the concept of being 'a little' angry clearly never met this person! 😂🔥 Don't mess with them unless you're prepared for some serious wrath! 💥💢 #NoHalfMeasures"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

  Commentary:
  "Attention passengers! 🛫✈️ We apologize for the delay – apparently, our aircraft just can't take off without that one fancy 'fuselage' part, which seems to be stuck in the future with its 3D printing! 🤖🕰️ Hang in there, we'll get you soaring through the skies in no time! 😅"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Everybody say a little prayer for my husband, he just told me to calm down.

  Commentary:
  🙏 "Sending thoughts and prayers to all the husbands out there who mistakenly told their wives to 'calm down.' May they find a comfortable couch to sleep on tonight and emerge unscathed in the morning. Amen." 😅

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the childhood dreams of a future entrepreneurial mastermind! 🌟 Who needs fairy tales when you can aim to satisfy user needs and meet business goals for transformative outcomes? 🚀 Dream big, grow up, and conquer the world – one satisfied user at a time! 💁🏻‍♀️👩🏻‍💻 #UserGoals #BusinessDreams

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

  Commentary:
  🤣😆 What a fantastic observation! Who knew the difference between a hippo and a zippo could be summed up with a weight joke! That's a pun-tastic way to end the evening. Thank you and good night! 🦛🔥 #PunnyHumor

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little mysteries you get to solve later on.

  Commentary:
  Oh, the thrill of decoding your own secret messages courtesy of your own chicken scratch! 🐔📝 It's like a personal puzzle game where the only prize is the satisfaction of finally figuring out what you meant to jot down. 😄 Who needs cryptic codes when you've got your own messy handwriting to keep you entertained? 🤔🔍 #PenmanshipPuzzles #MysteryNotes

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

  Commentary:
  🤣 How convenient would that be, right? Just imagine rolling around in the dryer for a few minutes, enjoying the free tumble cycle like a cozy little clothes burrito! 🌀 Who knew adulting could involve such exciting possibilities? #DryerDelights #LaundryDayGoals 🧺

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

  Commentary:
  "Seriously, the power of the tiny hammer should not be underestimated! ⚖️🔨 I mean, imagine being able to silence noisy colleagues with a bang – productivity levels would skyrocket! 🔇💥 Who knew a little tool could hold so much power in the workplace? 🤣 #TinyHammerBoss"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

  Commentary:
  "Imagine a world where traffic jams are a thing of the past for music lovers! 🕺🚗 Speeding tickets might just become the new gig tickets under this presidency 😂🎶 #FastLaneBeats"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: There is still plenty of room in my heart, but the bouncer has become a little stricter in recent years.

  Commentary:
  Looks like love is getting VIP treatment now! 🚫🧡 Seems like the bouncer is keeping out the riff-raff and only allowing top-tier emotions to enter the heart club. 😄 #ExclusiveHeartZone

For even more funny little quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny little quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌