34 Funny longer quotes

• My bank account and I are no longer on speaking terms.

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  2 months ago

  account, bank, bank account, conversation, debt, finance, humor, i, joke, longer, money, relationship, speaking, terms

• No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

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  2 months ago

  confidence, downfall, humor, i, involvement, longer, prayer, praying, sarcasm, teasing

• How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

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  2 months ago

  anonymity, avoidance, boundary, desire, desire to disappear, disappear, escaping, escaping recognition, i, interaction, longer, me, people, personal, personal boundary, privacy, recognition, social, social avoidance, social interaction, someone, unknown, want, wanting, wanting to be unknown

• Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

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  2 months ago

  annoyance, call, humor, ignore, ignoring, longer, phone, ring, technology, why

• Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

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  2 months ago

  abduction, alien, alien abduction, board, bring, due, extraterrestrial, fee, free, humans, humor, inflation, joke, longer, own, probes, purchase, required, sci-fi, sci-fi joke, space, space humor

• Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

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  2 months ago

  ask, before, breakfast, celebration, day, family, fun, humor, joke, letting, little, longer, morning, mother’s, Mother’s Day, sleep, wake, wife

• My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

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  2 months ago

  age, due, financial, humor, lack, life, life struggles, longer, love, me, money, relationship, sad, sadness, struggles, suffer

• No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

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  2 months ago

  chasing, confidence, dream, dreams, humor, i, know, lazy, longer, me, nap, relaxation, self-care, want, where

• Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

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  2 months ago

  cost, expenses, funeral, humor, just, life, living, longer, mortality, people, seen, wonder

• Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

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  2 months ago

  balance, days, enough, fun, leisure, longer, petition, time, time off, weekend, work life, work-life balance

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