27 Funny longer quotes

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  4 months ago

  Share →: No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

  Commentary:
  "Taking a nap and waiting for dreams to chase me like 🛌💭💨 Who knew dream pursuit could be so relaxing! #DreamsFindingMe #NapTimeGoals"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like the hefty price tag on funerals is the ultimate anti-aging remedy! 💸⏳ Who knew the fear of funeral bills could add years to your life? 😂 #LifeHacks"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

  Commentary:
  "Seriously, who do we talk to about extending weekends? It's like we blink and it's already Monday again! 🙈 Can we get a petition going for #MoreWeekendPlease? 📝⏳"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Breaking: man who liked me first no longer likes me.

  Commentary:
  📰 Breaking news alert! 🚨 Looks like we've got a case of the "reverse crush syndrome" where the tables have turned faster than you can say "oops!" 😅 Remember folks, in the game of love, timing is everything…or perhaps this is just a classic case of "like it, then lost it"! 😄💔

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Gonna finish eating all these Christmas cookies so I’m no longer tempted to eat them.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic holiday strategy: eliminate temptation by devouring all evidence of it! 🍪🎅 Who needs willpower when you have an appetite for cookies? 😂 #NewYearNewDiet"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, the irony of prioritizing artificial intelligence over the simple yet crucial task of preserving our beloved fries 🍟! Perhaps we should start a campaign: #SaveTheFries 🤖🍟 Let's hope Silicon Valley gets their priorities straight before we have a world run by genius robots and stale snacks! 😉"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like it's mission accomplished on the Thanksgiving front! 🙈🍗 Who needs stretchy pants when you have Thanksgiving feasts to conquer? 😆🦃 #WorthIt"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Nowadays, people no longer look for a needle in a haystack, but for errors in a spreadsheet.

  Commentary:
  In this digital age, the quest for perfection has shifted from the dusty haystacks to the daunting spreadsheets! 🧐💻 Good luck finding that elusive needle of accuracy among the cells and formulas! #SpreadsheetStruggles

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

  Commentary:
  Absolutely! Here's a playful take on that quote:

  "Just imagine the world if Pinocchio's nose rule applied! 🤥👃📏 We'd have a forest of noses sprouting up faster than you can say 'fib'! 🌳😂 Who needs lie detectors when we have lying noses to give us away? 🚫🤥👃 #TruthTellersUnite"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the sweet liberation of house arrest – where the only ankle you need to monitor is the one kicking back on the sofa! 🏠⛓️ Embracing that stage in life where pajamas are the new power suits and Netflix is the ultimate escape plan. Who needs the great outdoors when you've got great indoors, am I right? 😉 #HomebodyGoals

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