Funny lucky quotes

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

  Commentary:
  Living blissfully in my own bubble of confusion since forever 😂🤷‍♂️✨

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  4 months ago

  Share →: If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

  Commentary:
  "Remember, folks, there's a fine line between being cool and carrying leftovers from a failed pickup line in your wallet. 🌶️😏 #DateNightDisasters"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, the joys of aging! 🤣🚶‍♂️ It's a real victory to walk into a room and actually accomplish the mission instead of wandering aimlessly. Who needs luck when you've got a good memory, right? 👴🏼🔑"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs interventions when you have a small circle of friends who are just as dysfunctional as you? 🤷‍♂️ Quality over quantity, am I right? 😂 #NoInterventionNeeded"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: People always tell me I’d be “late to my own funeral” like it’s a bad thing. They’d be lucky if I even showed up to that depressing shit.

  Commentary:
  "Late to my own funeral? Please, I'd probably stop for coffee on the way! ☕️😂 Who needs to show up to a party they can't enjoy? 🎉💀 #FashionablyLateForever"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: I’m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, to have the metabolism of a superhero and the appetite of a bottomless pit! 🦸‍♂️🍔 Maybe if I ate while wearing clothes, they would gain some weight for me? 🤔👗 #FoodieGoals"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

  Commentary:
  Hmm, I hope your coworker didn't take that comment as a job application! 🙈 Remember, it's all fun and games until HR gets involved! 😂 #OfficeShenanigans

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like this bouncer is about to learn that love not only conquers all, but also protects you from getting your butt kicked! 💪🚨 Better watch out, Mr. Bouncer, this fearless duo is not to be messed with! 😜👊 #CoupleGoals"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”

  Commentary:
  "Next time someone asks why you're single, just hit 'em with the classic response: 'Got lucky. 🍀💔' Who needs a relationship drama when you've got all the free time and sleep to yourself, am I right? 😄 #LivingMyBestSingleLife"

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