Home » Funny Lying Quotes

22 Funny lying quotes

Trending Funny Lying Quotes 🔥

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.
Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.
I hate lying to my parents but it’s for their own good.
Not all works of art are in a museum. I, for example, am lying on the couch at home.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

New funny lying quotes 👇

3 weeks ago
Share →: It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.

Commentary:
"Totally agree! Just texted Batman about it 😂🦸‍♂️🎤"
1 month ago
Share →: No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

Commentary:
"Who needs romance when Mother Nature's swiping right on my outdoor adventures? 🌳😆🌞"
2 months ago
Share →: I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

Commentary:
"Why would I lie? 🤥 Oh wait, I lie all the time! 😂 It's the perfect alibi – just add a sprinkle of sarcasm and a dash of mischief! 🔥 #WittyFibber"
3 months ago
Share →: Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

Commentary:
Well, sometimes you just have to trust the ladies in ponds with sharp objects, they might have better governmental advice than you think! 🗡️👩🌊 #SwordPowerGovernance
3 months ago
Share →: Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Commentary:
"Health nuts – the irony is strong with this one! 🥦🤦‍♂️ Who knew that all those kale smoothies would lead to a showdown with a stale hospital menu? 🏥😂 Remember folks, everything in moderation, even moderation itself! 🍔😜"
3 months ago
Share →: If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

Commentary:
Well, they say honesty is the best policy, but it seems like some people might prefer a more lucrative career path! If lying paid as well as a CEO salary, we'd have a whole new generation of billionaires lining up for the job. Just imagine the job interview: "So, what would you say is your greatest strength?" "Oh, definitely my ability to tell a convincing fib!"
5 months ago
Share →: I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

Commentary:
🤥 "I could never journal, I'd start lying in there too." 📝 Well, honesty is overrated anyway, right? Who needs the truth when you can have a good story? Maybe that's how fiction writers are born! 😉
5 months ago
Share →: Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

Commentary:
"Every time I say 'no worries', just know that my brain is over-flowing with a lively parade of worries, anxieties, and random thoughts 🙃 Some call it multitasking, I call it a chaotic mess 💭 #SoManyWorries #OopsIDidItAgain"
5 months ago
Share →: Christmas combines two things I love the most, getting fat and lying to children.

Commentary:
"Christmas: the season of expanding waistlines and expanding fibs to the little ones! 🎅🍪🤥🎄 Who says you can't indulge in both delicious treats and creative storytelling at the same time? It's all in the holiday spirit! 😉"
5 months ago
Share →: Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

Commentary:
"Who knew honesty could be such a relationship cheat code? 🕵️‍♂️ No need for detective work when you're not dating a master of deception! 💔 Keep it real, folks!"