22 Funny lying quotes

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  2 days ago

  View →: It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.
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  3 weeks ago

  View →: No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.
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  2 months ago

  View →: I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.
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  2 months ago

  View →: Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.
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  3 months ago

  View →: Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
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  3 months ago

  View →: If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Christmas combines two things I love the most, getting fat and lying to children.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.
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  4 months ago

  View →: You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.
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  4 months ago

  View →: If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.
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  5 months ago

  View →: If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Not all works of art are in a museum. I, for example, am lying on the couch at home.
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  5 months ago

  View →: We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I hate lying to my parents but it’s for their own good.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I don’t want to adult today, I just want to dog. I’ll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.

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