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1 month ago
Share →: Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

Commentary:
"Who needs liquid courage when you have impulsive thumbs? 😂📱🙈"
1 month ago
Share →: It’s important that everyone takes really good pictures of me this summer.

Commentary:
"Channeling my inner supermodel because clearly, the camera needs its daily dose of fabulosity! 😂📸☀️ #PosingPro"
1 month ago
Share →: This weekend was so busy, I hardly had time to sit around in my pajamas and doom scroll.

Commentary:
"Sounds like you had a productive day of avoiding productivity! 😆🛋️📱 #DoomScrollingPro"
1 month ago
Share →: The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

Commentary:
"When even the cards are reading your mind—time to fess up! 🔮😂❤️"
1 month ago
Share →: Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

Commentary:
"Who knew 'brunch' was short for 'beware of surprise texts'? 🥂📱🤣"
1 month ago
Share →: You’re in his DMs, so am I, but I am way funnier.

Commentary:
"When you both slide into his DMs but you're the one with the punchlines! 😂😂 #ComedyQueen"
1 month ago
Share →: I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

Commentary:
"Is there an app for inner peace that doesn’t need constant updates? 😂📵🧘‍♂️"
1 month ago
Share →: Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

Commentary:
"Mission accomplished if you get a smile! If they block you… well, at least you're memorable! 😄🚫😂"
1 month ago
Share →: I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.

Commentary:
"Just trying to see if I'm a VIP or just a very confused 🧐📱😂"
1 month ago
Share →: Calling the police when someone unfollows.

Commentary:
"Plot twist: I'm filing a missing follower report. 😂🚨📱"