Home » Funny Myself Quotes » Page 3

116 Funny myself quotes

Trending Funny Myself Quotes 🔥

I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.
The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”
They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?
When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.
I’m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.

More funny myself quotes 👇

2 months ago
Share →: I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

Commentary:
"Who knew that being a walking disaster could be the ultimate secret to staying humble? 😉🤷‍♂️ Stay grounded, folks – literally! 😂 #HumbleBragFail"
2 months ago
Share →: I need to start hiding my money from myself.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic hide-and-seek game between you and your own wallet! 🕵️‍♂️💸 Who will outwit whom in this battle of financial espionage? Maybe try stashing your money in a place so secret, even you can't find it! 🤑🔍 #MoneyMystery"
2 months ago
Share →: Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

Commentary:
"Trying to be sober when you don't even enjoy your own company is like a one-person party with no snacks 🎉🚫🍕 #SelfLoveStruggles"
3 months ago
Share →: Sometimes I get really mad at myself, but not like mad enough to fight myself or anything like that.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic internal conflict – the ultimate showdown between you and…you 🥊😂 Who will come out victorious in this epic battle of wills? Stay tuned for the next episode of Self vs. Self, coming soon to a mirror near you! 💥🤼‍♂️"
3 months ago
Share →: Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

Commentary:
"Wow, quite the DIY enthusiast, I see! 🚦🎨 Who needs traffic lights when we've got your customized signals, right? 😂 Keep on mixing it up, smooth operator! 💁‍♂️💫"
3 months ago
Share →: I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic transition from being cool to becoming an expert in complaining about noise levels! 🕺🤐 It's like a rite of passage into adulting where our ability to enjoy a loud party is overshadowed by our desire for peace and quiet. 🎉🔇 Who knew that one day our idea of fun would involve searching for the elusive "mute" button in real life? 🤪🔊 #AdultingIssues
4 months ago
Share →: My superpower is embarrassing myself.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone unlocked the secret superhero level of social awkwardness! 💥🦸‍♂️ But hey, turning embarrassing moments into great stories is definitely a talent too! 🤣🙈 #SuperheroOfAwkwardness"
4 months ago
Share →: Imagine hating me and i’m just over here doing a much better job at hating myself than any of y’all could do.

Commentary:
"Me being my own worst critic: a full-time job with benefits and overtime. Sorry haters, your services are not needed here. 🤷‍♀️🥇 #SelfDeprecationGameStrong"
4 months ago
Share →: That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic struggle of trying to read lips that seem to have a mind of their own on screen! 📽️😂 Who knew a few milliseconds could drive us to the brink of self-inflicted popcorn throwing? Stay strong, brave subtitle warrior!"
5 months ago
Share →: “It can’t get any worse than this”, I lie to myself knowing it will absolutely get worse.

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal optimism of telling ourselves it can’t get worse… only to be spectacularly proven wrong! 🙈 Hang in there, you're in for a wild ride of going from bad to worse! 🎢😂"