Skip to content
  • Privacy
  • Disclaimer
  • Terms & Conditions
Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

  • ⚡ Funny Quotes Slot →
Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New funny quotes: 39 this month

15,792 funny quotes and pics

17,796 funny quotes topics

Updated: Mar 9, 2026

 

 

186 Funny myself quotes

Funny myself quotes highlight those moments when you realize you’re the star of your own comedy show! 😂💁‍♂️ Whether it’s overthinking a simple situation, being your own worst critic, or laughing at your own weird habits, these quotes remind us that sometimes the funniest moments come from just being ourselves. After all, who else is going to make fun of you better than you? 😆🙃🎭

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

Posted onJan 29, 2026

I like riding by myself so I can replay 1 song 111 times with no complaints.

Posted onJan 29, 2026

Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

Posted onJan 29, 2026

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

Posted onJan 29, 2026

Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

Posted onJan 29, 2026

I find myself thinking “God, I need a cigarette” way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke.

Posted onJan 29, 2026

“I’d rather hurl myself into an active volcano!” -me, politely declining dates.

Posted onJan 29, 2026

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

Posted onJan 29, 2026

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

Posted onJan 29, 2026Feb 27, 2026

Sorry that I cannot come out drinking with you tonight, as I will be drinking at home. Alone. By myself.

Posted onJan 28, 2026

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

Posted onJan 28, 2026

People on Facebook be like “can anyone tell me about a thing I can easily Google myself?”

Posted onJan 28, 2026

Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

Posted onJan 28, 2026

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

Posted onJan 28, 2026

I had a heated but interesting discussion today and they even agreed with me at the end. That’s exactly why I love talking to myself.

Posted onJan 28, 2026

Shoutout to coughing on the bus. Haven’t tried it myself but seems really popular.

Posted onJan 28, 2026

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

Posted onJan 28, 2026

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

Posted onJan 28, 2026

I don’t have read receipts on my phone because why would I tell on myself like that?

Posted onJan 28, 2026

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

Posted onJan 28, 2026

I SAID YES!!!!!! after I asked myself if I wanted a breakfast burrito.

Posted onJan 23, 2026

Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

Posted onJan 23, 2026

I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

Posted onJan 23, 2026

I’m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.

Posted onJan 23, 2026

I talk to myself mostly because I am an excellent listener.

Posted onJan 23, 2026

Autumn and winter are coming. The time when I make myself tea and always forget that I’ve made myself tea.

Posted onJan 23, 2026

I tried to take a picture of myself in the shower, but my camera kept fogging up. I have selfie steam issues.

Posted onJan 22, 2026

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, “Wow, this changes everything.”

Posted onJan 22, 2026

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

Posted onJan 22, 2026

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

Posted onJan 22, 2026

I don’t like who I become when I’m watching someone Google something less efficiently than I would myself.

Posted onJan 22, 2026

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

Posted onJan 22, 2026

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

Posted onJan 22, 2026

Self-awareness is such a two-edged sword. Like, yay, I know myself better, but at what cost?

Posted onJan 22, 2026

Before I work on myself, does anyone like me unhinged?

Posted onJan 22, 2026

With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

Posted onJan 22, 2026

Sometimes when I’m having a particularly stressful day, I take a pregnancy test to remind myself that at least one thing in my life is still going as planned.

Posted onJan 22, 2026

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

Posted onJan 22, 2026

I’ve got to start taking better care of myself. Tomorrow I’ll walk to the liquor store.

Posted onJan 22, 2026

At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

Posted onJan 22, 2026

Posts navigation

Older posts
Newer posts

© 2026 Wordgag Inc.

>>> Random Quotes ✨