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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Her: how are you still single? Me: it’s easier than you think.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

This meeting should’ve been a fist fight.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

58 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

One of my biggest talents is taking hundreds of screenshots that I swear I’ll need, but I never look at them again.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

Spotted on Threads:

The secret to being able to buy whatever you want is not wanting much.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Some people get a bit strange as they get older. Not me. I’ve always been like that!

Live now on Discord:

I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

Reported on Threads:

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

Spotted on Slack:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

Trending via Threads:

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

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22 Funny parking quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

58 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Going through life with a signature I invented as a teenager.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

There should be a true crime story about feeding someone a peanut butter sandwich and giving them nothing to drink.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

I’m actually really good looking if you don’t look at me.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Gen Z will be like “OMG new life hack!” and then it’s a video of them adjusting the toaster dial.

Freshly posted on X:

Good morning, especially if they tried to make you go to rehab and you said “no, no, no.”

Reported on Twitch:

I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Ugh, but profoundly.

Live now on Telegram:

Girls want a bad boy to fix. Boys want a good girl to corrupt. Me? I just want a rumbustious monkey as a butler.

Live now on Snapchat:

Sometimes you send an email that requires a response, and the other person writes back right away, and it’s like NO NOT YET.

Just landed via Snapchat:

It sure is strange that after Tuesday the rest of the week spells WTF.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

Just shared via Discord:

There are advantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it. There are disadvantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it.

Going viral on YouTube:

Diet hack: Spend your money filling up your gas tank so you won’t have money for groceries.

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