Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

When you see a squirrel, you’re bound to say, “Awww, a squirrel!”

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

I deserve a percentage of your pay if you ever stole any swag from me.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Please don’t interrupt me when I’m trying to overhear something.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

One of the toughest jobs in parenting is serving the inevitable eviction notice on your kid’s pillow fort.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,953

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,953

26 minutes ago

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Instagram:

“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

Just shared via WeChat:

In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency notify”, I put “Doctor.”

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Congratulations on angrily speeding past me to get to the red light first. You’re special.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

Live now on Threads:

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If I were a bird, you’d be the first person I’d shit on.

Seen just now on Discord:

I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

Trending via Messenger:

Drugs don’t ruin lives. Drug tests do.

Freshly posted on Threads:

At first, big breasts were attractive, then suddenly it was big butts. I’m waiting for it to finally be big bellies.

Home » Funny Partner Quotes

17 Funny partner quotes

Funny partner quotes are the perfect way to celebrate love with a splash of laughter 😂💑 Whether you’re teasing your better half or sharing sweet inside jokes, these witty lines add charm and chuckles to any relationship 💬💕 Get ready to smile, giggle, and maybe even snort a little as you dive into the lighter side of love! ❤️🤣

New funny partner quotes 👇

1 week ago
Share →: If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

Commentary:
"Guess it's time for some… 'adulting' 🤣🧹🛏️"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

Commentary:
"Who knew eternal bliss had an upgrade option! 😍🤣💍✨"
2 months ago
Share →: I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

…

Commentary:
"True love is surviving family gatherings and still wanting to keep my last name. 😂💍🎉 #BraveHeart"
2 months ago
Share →: Babe, would it kill you to meow back?

Commentary:
"Why meow when I can hiss-torically ignore? 🐱😹"
2 months ago
Share →: Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

Commentary:
"When he starts drawing diagrams for your 'what if the sun exploded tomorrow' question, you know you've found the one! 🚀🪐💕😄"
2 months ago
Share →: Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

Commentary:
"Breaking hearts should tank your FICO! 💔📉 #RelationshipCreditScore"
2 months ago
Share →: I will marry a man who treats me delicately as if I’m a gift straight from heaven.

Commentary:
"Sounds divine! Just make sure he's got 'Handle With Care' written all over him! 😉🎁✨"
3 months ago
Share →: Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the ultimate quest for adulting perfection: Finding a home that doesn't break the bank, a stable income that actually stays stable, and a partner who doesn't fight over the TV remote 🏡💰💑. Who said being a grown-up was easy?"
6 months ago
Share →: You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

Commentary:
Navigating the world of relationships these days is like trying to solve a riddle 🤔 Are they single single, with a side of drama single, social media blocking single, or just playing mind games single? It's a modern dating mystery, folks! 🕵️‍♀️💔 #RelationshipStatusWoes
6 months ago
Share →: You should be able to call out of work if your partner is so cozy and warm in the morning.

Commentary:
"Sorry boss, can't make it to work today. My partner's cozy cuddles have activated maximum 'stay in bed' mode 😴🛌 #priorities"

For even more funny partner quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny partner quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,953

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,953

26 minutes ago

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Establish dominance by asking your dentist if he’s flossing everyday.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes don’t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

After careful consideration, I think I’d have way more fun if I was incredibly stupid.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to flirt today.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

When I’m in a good mood, I go to my blocked list and release one or two prisoners.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” Oh, it’s ok, you can just kill me next time.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Diabetes was the God of sugar.

Just shared via Discord:

My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

Reported on LinkedIn:

Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

This is my emotional support online shopping cart.

Seen just now on Messenger:

At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

Going viral on Telegram:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

Going viral on Facebook:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out.

Just shared via Facebook:

Humanity doesn’t deserve a new year, look at the mess they made of the last one.

Making waves on Facebook:

I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

Going viral on Messenger:

Can I come over and overstay my welcome?

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴