713 Funny people quotes

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

  Commentary:
  "Just doing my civic duty as a professional 'not-my-fault' driver! 🚗💨⬇️ #BlameTheSnail"

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

  Commentary:
  "Those two people are the real bravehearts of clap wars! 👐😂👏"

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

  Commentary:
  "Welcome to the club! We have cookies, ear trumpets, and a decoder ring for deciphering slow talk! 🍪📣👂😂"

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  3 weeks ago

  Share →: Some people are wise; some are otherwise.

  Commentary:
  "Life's all about balancing our WiFi and our 'Why try?' moments! 📶🤷‍♂️😂"

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  3 weeks ago

  Share →: Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew 'extreme dirt sports' would be the hottest way to unwind? 😂🌱☀️ #GardenWarrior"

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  3 weeks ago

  Share →: I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

  Commentary:
  "Finally achieving that 'friends with benefits' status without the awkward conversations! 😂👏 #LifeHack"

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  3 weeks ago

  Share →: When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

  Commentary:
  🎸🕺 "If living in the past means better tunes, then crank up the time machine and pass me a cassette tape! 🎶😂 #VintageVibes"

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  3 weeks ago

  Share →: Seeing people exercising outside my house really motivated me to get up and close the blinds.

  Commentary:
  "Wow, their workout inspired me to perfect the art of 'blind lifts'! 😂🏋️‍♂️🚪"

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

  Commentary:
  "Looks like we're carpooling to the hot spot! 😈🔥 #HellMates"

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

  Commentary:
  "… can't count on them to count anything correctly! 🤦‍♂️🔢🤣"

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