37 Funny pick quotes

• Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick one person you hate, and blame them for everything.

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  2 weeks ago

  blame, blaming, everyone, everything, hate, humor, person, pick, problem, problems, sarcasm, stop

• Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

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  2 weeks ago

  30s, compliment, congrats, dating, decision making, humor, panic, person, pick, relationship, should, unmarried, wrong

• The miracle of DoorDash is that I just pick up my phone, punch a few things into it, and within half an hour I have, at my door, a $52 salad.

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  3 weeks ago

  convenience, delivery, door, DoorDash, food, food delivery, half, hour, humor, i, just, miracle, phone, pick, punch, salad, spending, technology, things

• Wife bought something on FB Marketplace, but she’s afraid she’ll get kidnapped, so she sends me to pick it up from a guy whose wife sent him because she’s afraid to get kidnapped.

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  1 month ago

  afraid, Facebook, Facebook Marketplace, fear, funny situation, guy, husband, kidnap, kidnapped, marketplace, me, online, online purchase, pick, pickup, purchase, sent, shell, situation, something, wife, wife fear

• Runners who smoke need to pick a side.

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  1 month ago

  contradiction, fitness, humor, need, pick, runner, side, smoke, smoking

• I waste a lot of time putting my phone down to just pick it back up again.

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  2 months ago

  again, back, distraction, habit, humor, i, just, lot, phone, pick, procrastination, putting, time, time-wasting, waste, wasting

• When I’m on hold and the song ends, I always expect someone to pick up the phone.

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  2 months ago

  always, call, call center, center, customer, customer service, expectation, hold, humor, i, on hold, phone, pick, service, someone, song, waiting

• Just got some minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

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  2 months ago

  cardio, cube, exercise, floor, got, ice, ice cube, just, kitchen, minutes, pick, trying, workout

• I can still drop it like it’s hot. It’s just a lot harder to pick it back up.

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  2 months ago

  ability, aging, back, difficulty, drop, drop it, harder, hot, humor, i, just, lot, physical, physical ability, pick, still

• If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

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  2 months ago

  communication, date, expectations, held, humor, i, men, only, pick, plans, power, relationships, reservation, reservations, uncertainty, whatever

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