31 Funny preparation quotes

• Preparing for the apocalypse by becoming fluent in zombie.

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  8 hours ago

  apocalypse, fluency, humor, language, preparation, survival, zombie

• Just cleaned my room in case Beyoncé was somewhere close to my house and her car broke down, and she needed somewhere to sleep.

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  8 hours ago

  Beyoncé, broke, broken, broken down, car, case, celebrity, cleaned, cleaning, close, house, humor, just, preparation, room, sleep, somewhere

• My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately.

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  13 hours ago

  advice, getting, getting older, humor, older, people, person, preparation, prepare, start, stretching, young, young person

• Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

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  24 hours ago

  chopping, cooking, crying, emotion, food, food preparation, humor, onion, onions, preparation, thinking, while

• I buy candles like I’m preparing for a Victorian blackout.

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  1 week ago

  blackout, buy, candle, candles, exaggeration, humor, i, preparation, shopping, Victorian

• Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24. I need more time to be ready for Monday.

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  2 weeks ago

  48, day, hours, humor, i, Monday, need, preparation, procrastination, ready, should, Sunday, time, weekend

• It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

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  1 month ago

  accomplish, amazing, around, before, cleaning, coming, house, housework, humor, i, motivation, much, over, preparation, procrastination, productivity, right, someone, visitor

• Don’t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

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  1 month ago

  ahead, anywhere, change, change of plan, doing, doing nothing, enjoy, event, humor, i, invitation, invite, know, last, last minute, me, minute, need, needs, nothing, plan, preparation, procrastination, social, social event, spontaneity, time

• Nothing really prepares you for when your favorite sweatpants begin to fall apart.

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  2 months ago

  apart, begin, clothing, comfort, fall, falling, falling apart, favorite, humor, nothing, preparation, relatability, sweatpant, sweatpants

• Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

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  2 months ago

  body, body hair, case, grooming, hair, humor, just, media, post, preparation, shaved, shaving, social, social media

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