Funny private quotes

• 

  5 days ago

  Share →: No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

  Commentary:
  Lost in my own mystery tour! 🕵️‍♂️🤔✨

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

  Commentary:
  "Taking 'sliding into DMs' to a whole new level of sophistication! 😂📬 #DMKing"

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

  Commentary:
  "Ah yes, saving the planet, one yoghurt lid at a time while Venice gets its own airport! 🌍✈️😂"

• 

  4 weeks ago

  Share →: Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

  Commentary:
  "When you’re hotter than your follower count 🔥📉 #ExclusiveClub"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Having a low quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like my camera's doing a better job at witness protection than the FBI! 📷🤦‍♂️😂"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m a private person except for when I’m publicly trauma dumping on social media.

  Commentary:
  "Living that 'private person by day, public oversharing by night' lifestyle 🤫💻 Embracing the art of social media therapy like a pro! 💁‍♂️💬 #KeepingItReal"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, the art of bamboozling with a sprinkle of cunning! 🤫💁‍♂️ Oversharing a buffet of trivial tidbits to distract from the vault of deep secrets? Masterful strategy or just pure genius? 🤔🔒 Either way, it's all fun and games until the important info remains under lock and key! 🗝️😄 #SneakyButStylish"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

  Commentary:
  "Brace yourselves, folks, for the newest hit single from the world-renowned artist Taylor Slow 🛩️🐢. Who needs a private jet when you can take things slow and steady, right? 😉 #LifeintheSlowLane"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

  Commentary:
  "Spotted: a double dose of doppelgangers causing a commotion in public! Looks like the rumor about 'twin-cest' is real… 🙈 Double the trouble, double the fun! Just don't start finishing each other's sentences, or we might need to call in the doppel-police! 🚔 #Twinsanity"

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